One of my earliest childhood memories is of sitting in my second grade class at Our Lady Help of Christians School in Brooklyn, New York during a lesson on the human body.

During the class, my teacher said something that knocked my socks off! It was that human beings only use 10% of the capacity of their brains [that was wrong; it’s now understood that virtually every part of the brain is active most of the time].

But when I heard that statement, I made a decision right then and there to get to using 100% of my brain power in my life. That declaration led me on a circuitous exploration of personal growth, alternative lifestyles and spiritual paths, much to my parents’ chagrin.

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“Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news.  The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be!  How much you can love!  What you can accomplish!  And what your human potential is!”  Anne Frank

The author at the age of decision

One of my earliest childhood memories is of sitting in my second grade class at Our Lady Help of Christians School in Brooklyn, New York during a lesson on the human body.

During the class, my teacher said something that knocked my socks off!  It was that human beings only use 10% of the capacity of their brains  [that was wrong; it’s now understood that virtually every part of the brain is active most of the time].

But when I heard that statement, I made a decision right then and there to get to using 100% of my brain power in my life.  That declaration led me on a circuitous exploration of personal growth, alternative lifestyles and spiritual paths, much to my parents’ chagrin.

What is the brain??  Is it our heart?

According to the latest Merriam-Webster dictionary, the brain is the portion of the nervous system that integrates sensory information from inside and outside the body to control autonomic function [e.g., heartbeat and respiration], motor responses and learning.  [I apologize – even I was bored by that sentence].

BUT our understanding of the “brain” is constantly evolving and the latest research is exciting.  The Heart-Math Institute has determined that:

•            the heart sends far more information to the brain than the brain sends to the heart;

•            the signals the heart sends to the brain can influence perception, emotional processing and higher cognitive functions;

•            there is compelling evidence that the heart receives intuitive information before the brain.

So, in a way, it could be said the heart is our true brain!!!

 Can we change our brains?

When I was a school-girl, we were taught that different sections of the brain had different functions and there could not be any cross-over.

But the new field of neuroplasticity has determined that the brain is modifiable.  If one part of the brain is damaged, another part can be trained to take over its functions; if brain cells die, they can sometimes be replaced.

An excellent book on this subject is “The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science” by Norman Doidge, M.D.  In this book, Doidge shares fascinating case histories of stroke patients cured, emotional disorders overcome and IQ raised.

 What does this mean for us?

It means that our thoughts can change the structure and functions of our brains!  It also means that we can overcome physical and mental limitations previously thought impossible.  We can unleash tremendous potential is only we give ourselves permission.  This is one of my favorite topics, and you’ll be reading more about it in future posts.

So my childhood question now changes from how to use 100% of our brains [we were always doing that] to how to get to 100% of our potential.

 What is human potential?

Here are some of the things I’ve concluded are the earmarks of living to our fullest potential:

• Developing intuition
• Using empowering language
• Using visualization and mental rehearsal to improve performance and achieve a goal
• Positive mental attitude
• Using all our talents without fear
• Meditation
• Practicing self-healing [taking care of ourselves through healthy lifestyles]
• Taking charge of our health
• Cultivating qualities of compassion, forgiveness, integrity, kindness and more
• Being lights in the world.

These will all be topics of future posts.

I’m still working on all of the above, but am certainly closer than I’ve ever been to living at 100% of my potential.

So that’s my definition.  What’s yours?

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Here are some Native American teachings about leadership:

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The Peacemaker

It’s President’s Day, and this is an election year, so my thoughts have gone to considering what makes a good leader.  And I wonder if we really know in this country what a good leader is.  Or, more importantly, do our own leaders know.

 Here are some Native American teachings about leadership:

A leader:

•  is the poorest man in the tribe because when the old and orphaned are without, the chief gives from his own stores to take care of them;
•  has compassion and looks out for the well-being of others;
•  takes responsibility and admits mistakes;
•  listens to the counsel of women in order to have a balanced viewpoint;
• prizes peace above all else.

A spiritual leader can communicate with the animal nations and weather for the protection of the people.

In most indigenous societies there are no wealthy classes or poor classes, no homeless.  Everyone had what they needed, was equal and was free.

I’ve written previously about how the first Europeans who came to the New World sent news back to Europe in the 16^th-18^th centuries that even the “savages” embraced equality!  That news became a catalyst for the demand for democracy in Europe to replace the ruling classes and the abject poverty of the peasants.

 Legend of the Peacemaker

The first recorded great Native American leader was “the Peacemaker.”

One thousand years ago, the five tribes in the northeastern U.S. were constantly at war:  the Mohawks, Seneca, Oneida, Onondaga and Cayugas. The wars were vicious and, according to tribal history, included cannibalism.

One day a man arrived in a white stone canoe from across Onondaga Lake to teach Peace and an end to violence, saying “Peace is the desire of the Holder of the Heavens.”

He traveled among the tribes for many years, teaching people to love one another and live together in peace.  One by one, each person and village accepted his teaching.

He gave instructions to form a government based on equality, freedom of speech and religion, dignity and harmony.  This became the Great Law of Peace, and the five tribes collectively became known as the Haudenosaunee, which means People of the Long House.

The United States Constitution is based on the Great Law of Peace.  But that will be the story of another post.

He was known as Deganaweda, but was considered such a great leader, and so sacred, that his name is rarely spoken.  He is known only as The Peacemaker.

Our greatest leaders  [Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Jr., Nelson Mandela, to name just a few]  were all motivated by bringing peace, equality, freedom and compassion to the people.  No other legacy is worthwhile.

I would recommend keeping these things in mind when voting and choosing our leaders.  Can they meet these criteria?

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High on mescaline, I saw a mountain breathe and immediately knew two things:]]> There is an old saying that, when the student is ready, the teacher appears.  It certainly was true for me.  I’m frequently asked how I got involved with the Native American spiritual path.  The short answer is: “I asked the universe.”

During college, I experimented with the usual recreational drugs and had an epiphany one day on a hillside in the Santa Monica Mountains.

High on mescaline, I saw a mountain breathe and immediately knew two things:

1. there is much more to this world than I had ever been taught before and;
2. I wanted to have that awesome high daily, not just on weekends.

The pragmatic side of me decided a daily high did not mean daily drugs, so I sought another way.  Meditation seemed the answer.

What I first found was a cult that proclaimed I should meditate an hour each morning and an hour each night.  Being an active outdoors type, I was a failure at meditation because I couldn’t bear to sit still that long.  It brought struggle and guilt, not peace of mind.  [Ironically, I now have a dedicated daily meditation practice, but that will be the subject of a future post].

I realized my greatest peace of mind was achieved out in nature: hiking, camping and back-packing.  So I put out a thought to the universe that if I could find a spiritual path that had to do with the outdoors and nature, that would be it for me.

Within two weeks, out of the blue, I was invited to a Native American purification lodge.  It was the perfect fit for me, and I never looked back.

What would you like to manifest in your life?  Put it out there and let me know the results.

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But in the past 24 hours some things came to my attention I couldn’t ignore. I watched Eve Ensler’s riveting talk on TED.com in which she spoke of the atrocities against women in warring third world countries. Then I saw George Clooney’s film, “Three Kings” which, under the guise of entertainment, made a powerful statement about atrocities against the people of Iraq by Saddam’s Royal Guard.

There’s so much more, but I don’t need to list it all; we all are aware of the inhumanity going on around the world. The question is: what's to be done about it?

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“An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”  Mahatma Gandhi

Mahatma Ghandi

Any life coach will tell you not to watch the news because it will just bring you down.  Salesmen know not to watch it in the morning; it gets your day off to a bad start.  So I don’t follow the news closely, although I do scan headlines to have a general idea of what’s going on in the world.

But in the past 24 hours some things came to my attention I couldn’t ignore.  I watched Eve Ensler’s riveting talk on TED.com in which she spoke of the atrocities against women in warring third world countries.  Then I saw George Clooney’s film, “Three Kings” which, under the guise of entertainment, made a powerful statement about atrocities against the people of Iraq by Saddam’s Royal Guard.

There’s so much more, but I don’t need to list it all; we all are aware of the inhumanity going on around the world.  The question is: what’s to be done about it?

 The awareness of such horror brings out the warrior in me.  I see myself intervening and killing the monsters who commit such horrid acts against the innocent.  But would I really?  These are things one can’t know until faced with the situation.

I do have a warrior side.  Years ago, when accosted by a man with a knife on the beach in California, I actually scared him off.

Long before that, when a roommate started screaming from a nightmare in the middle of the night, I ran toward her room, not away.

And I was a card carrying member of the Xena Warrior Princess fan club.

So it was easy to spend 30 seconds fantasizing about eliminating the perpetrators of the acts described by Ensler and Clooney.

But would I?  And, more importantly, would that stop it from happening elsewhere all over the world?

Hearing of these atrocities evokes in all of us a feeling of helplessness.  What can we possibly do from so far away?  Yes, we can write letters and send money, but there must be more.

I prayed about this, and went deep in meditation to seek an answer from my Wisdom Teachers and got one.  It was to love the people who commit the atrocities.  Raising the vibration on the planet is the most effective way to stop the insanity. And sending out love is the highest vibration there is.

 HOW TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE

Quantum physicists have proven what indigenous people have always known: everything on the earth is inter-related and connected by an invisible field of energy.  It is simply called, “The Field.”   What we think, do or say impacts not just those around us but goes out into the energy field surrounding our planet.

A concrete example can be found in the 1993 study in which 4,000 meditators from the Transcendental Meditation organization were brought to Washington, D.C. to meditate twice a day during the hot summer months, when the violent crime rate is normally highest. At the time, Washington, D.C. was the murder capitol of the U.S.

By the last week of the peer-reviewed study, violent crime was reduced 23%, with all other possible factors ruled out.  [An abstract of the study can be found at: http://www.pnyv.org/]  The theory is that group meditation increases coherence and reduces stress in the collective consciousness of the surrounding area.  This study has been successfully repeated in cities around the world.

The moral of this message?  Positive energy is more powerful than negative.  There is a collective consciousness, or vast energy field, that we are a part of, and contribute to, whether we know it or not.  Everything we do matters.

We may not be able to physically go to all the places in the world where there is suffering in order to bring relief, but we can raise our consciousness to effect world-wide change:

• Send love to all, even those we see as monsters.
• Let love and positive thoughts and actions go out into The Field.
• Pray.
• Meditate.
• Practice kindness.
• Live your life as if every action you take and thought you have matters.  Because they do.

Easy?  Perhaps but.  But I truly believe the future of planet earth depends on it.

And that, I think, is the best way to manifest love and celebrate St. Valentine’s Day.

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When my niece, Kate was ready to start kindergarten, she had to first go through an interview consisting of ten questions to assess her social skills. Nine of her answers were deemed “correct” but the one she was marked wrong for shocked me.

Question: “What do you do if you break something?”

Kate’s honest reply: “You tell the truth.”

Wrong answer!

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Thomas Edison, inventor of the light bulb

When my niece, Kate, was ready to start kindergarten, she had to first go through an interview consisting of ten questions to assess her social skills.  Nine of her answers were deemed “correct” but the reason she got one wrong  shocked me.

Question: “What do you do if you break something?”

Kate’s honest reply: “You tell the truth.”

Wrong answer!

The answer the school was looking for was, “you fix it.”

This doting aunt was quite appalled that Kate didn’t get credit for her excellent answer.  The U.S. might still be a British colony if George Washington had attended that kindergarten!

How our culture forces us to fail!

I used to be afraid to admit my mistakes.  In fact I was terrified of it.  I somehow felt I had to be perfect – what pressure!  A mistake was failure and failure was not an option in my world.

Perhaps it’s our success-driven culture.  We worship perfection, particularly in physical beauty.  Our society has a built-in criticism factor.  Advertisements and commercials are set up to compare us to others.  We need to buy or do something to be “better.”  The continuing message is that we have therefore failed.

Our educational system compounds the problem by being mistake-centered.  The grading system puts us above or below others.  That constant comparison is stressful and makes us fearful of making mistakes.

Fear of failure keeps us playing safe and never blossoming into our full potential.  Remember this truth: no one’s opinion counts except your own.

The turning point for me came in a surprising way.  Decades ago I was reading a book which gave the following exercise:

Make a list of the 10 people [living or dead] who you most admire and what it is you admire about them.  I don’t recall who I put on the list, but I distinctly recall what they all had in common: spectacular failures – and picked themselves up and kept right on going.

So I started getting a bit more courageous in my life, particularly after absorbing the teaching of Buckminster Fuller that,  “there are no mistakes, only learning experiences.”

Here are some statistics that may give you some comfort:

Thomas Edison failed 999 times before he came up with an electric bulb that worked.  He didn’t feel he failed 999 times; he simply found 999 ways of it not working.

Basketball legend Michael Jordan once said, “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career.  I’ve lost almost 300 games.  On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot … and missed.  I have failed over and over and over again in my life and that’s why … I succeed.”

Walt Disney was turned down 302 times before the banks lent him the money to build Disneyland!

Col. Sanders got hundreds of rejections before finding backing for “Col. Sanders’ Kentucky Fried Chicken.”

Dr. Seuss was rejected by 28 publishers and J.K. Rowling was rejected by 12 before getting their first books published.

A great definition of fear is:  FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real.  How often have we dreaded an outcome only to have everything turn out fine?  I bet you can cite many instances from your own life right now.

Think back, do an assessment.  Be grateful for all the learning experiences that have made you who you are today and go forth and learn a lot more.  For which I congratulate you in advance.

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While scientists don’t always agree on much, there seems to be consensus that at least 70% of all illness is stress-related.]]> A December 7, 2011 story on the Today Show alarmed me:  25% of adult women take drugs for anxiety and depression, and to help them sleep.  25%!!!

The reason given is that we all have more stress in our lives and prescription drugs seem to help us cope with it.

While scientists don’t always agree on much, there seems to be consensus that at least 70% of all illness is stress-related.  So, clearly, managing our stress is one of the most important keys to good health.

But all prescription drugs have side effects and are quite often not our best option.

Here are 32 suggestions for dealing with life stress, all of which are a healthier option than medication:

1. Take a few moments each day for some slow deep breathing.  Yes, you do have the time.
2. Learn to meditate.
3. Spend daily time in nature: fresh air and sun are very restorative.
4. Don’t have caffeine after noon.
5. Get 7-9 hours sleep a night [recommended by the National Sleep Foundation].
6. Learn to avoid negative self-talk and avoid people who talk negatively to you.
7. Make time for exercise at least 5 days a week.  Exercise is one of the best stress-reducers.  Join a gym, take a yoga class or walk.  I have a collection of exercise DVDs I work out to, a mini trampoline and free weights, giving me a nice low-budget exercise option.
8. Find one activity to give up to give you more relaxation time. You really don’t have to do it all.
9. Watch less TV.  Much of what’s on these days is not good for our nervous systems.  While formerly a fan, I simply can’t watch shows like Criminal Minds or CSI any more.
10. Take regular breaks. Set a timer for 15 minutes and just sit with your feet up and breathe.
11. Get regular healing sessions: energy healing, massage, acupuncture, and reflexology are highly relaxing and therapeutic.
12. Use aromatherapy: get a diffuser and some lavender oil.
13. Drink green tea.
14. Listen to relaxing music.
15. Learn to see “failures” as stepping stones.  There are no mistakes – only learning experiences.
16. Plan at least one fun event every month so you have something to look forward to.
17. Get together with fun friends and laugh.
18. Learn to listen more.
19. Learn to manage your time: spread out appointments so you’re not dealing with too much at once. I try to go to only one doctor/healing session a week.
20. Learn to say no!!  You don’t have to say yes to every invitation or extra project.  Make time for yourself.
21. Clear your desk at the end of each day so you start the next day fresh.
22. Get organized – get a book on organization and/or time management. Being unorganized is hugely stressful.
23. Make your bed every morning so it’s beautiful and inviting at the end of the day [no one’s grandmother ever said, “if it’s good enough to get out of, its good enough to get into.”].
24. Eat a healthy diet [ = no fast food].  Don’t let yourself get too full or too  hungry.  Make the time to make a healthy salad to bring to work. I did that daily for 30 years.  I was famous for it!
25. Leave 10 minutes early for appointments so you won’t have to rush.
26. Take a real lunch break away from the work desk, even if just for 15 minutes.
27. Remove the TV from the bedroom.  It will excite your brain pattern and make sleep more difficult.
28. Start your day with silence instead of TV.
29. Don’t bring work home with you; go in earlier or work later to get it done.
30. Back up your computer files.
31. Keep extra car and house keys.
32.  At the end of each day, list five things you are grateful for.

Feel free to let me know what else [legal and healthy, please] you’ve found to help you de-stress.

If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with your friends!

We had a lot of thunderstorms in Michigan this year. A lot. It’s particularly memorable to me because each storm, as it gets close, necessitates unplugging all my computer equipment. [Losing a printer in a storm last year was all it took for me to learn that lesson!]

So the drill at my home during a storm is:

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“Any glimpse into the life of an animal quickens our own and makes it so much the larger and better in every way.”   John Muir

We had a lot of thunderstorms in Michigan this year.  A lot.  It’s particularly memorable to me because each storm, as it gets close, necessitates unplugging all my computer equipment.  [Losing a printer in a storm last year was all it took for me to learn that lesson!]

So the drill at my home during a storm is:

 Unplug all computer equipment;

Curl up with a good book;

My two cats go to their respective hiding places.  [While I find electrical storms magical and awesome, they clearly do not].

During the last storm, after I had been reading for a while, thunder still thundering, my cats suddenly showed up next to me.  Surprised, I listened closely and, after a few moments, it was clear that the storm was moving away.  But they knew that well before I did.  How?

The animal world is full of stories of super awareness, and I think it has been a big mistake on the part of modern society, and science, that we haven’t paid more attention to what we can learn from them.

Native peoples, naturally, have always considered animals teachers. The ancients learned, for example, what plants were medicinal by watching what injured and sick animals ate.

Here are some great examples of animal talents:

Migrating birds follow the same route each year, for thousands of miles, apparently by reading the earth’s electro-magnetic field like a map.

My neighbor had a stray cat move into her back yard and, being an animal lover, gave it food and shelter.  But her other cat wouldn’t accept it, so she found the stray a job as a barn cat four miles away.  A few days later, the cat showed up back at her house.

How can birds and cats do that when I regularly lose my car in the Meijer’s parking lot?

There are many accounts of birds and animals leaving an area before earthquakes and volcanic eruptions. The Moken tribe off the coast of Thailand recognized the signs both in the water and in animal behavior that something bad was coming in December of 2004.  They all fled to high ground and, while they lost their villages and boats, all the Moken survived the tsunami that killed over 280,000 thousand from Thailand to East Africa.

Dogs can be trained to give an alert before their human has a seizure, and to detect peanut allergens and accompany a child to be on alert for them.

Dogs can also be trained to smell cancer.  The Pine Street Foundation in San Anselmo, California has trained dogs to smell lung cancer 99% of the time.  It’s believed cancer causes a change in body odor that dogs, with their sensitive noses, can detect before anyone else.

There are numerous stories of people who claim their pets saved their lives: waking them up when there’s a gas leak or fire.

A bee’s sense of smell is so precise that it can differentiate hundreds of different floral varieties and tell whether a flower carried pollen or nectar from yards away.

The monarch butterfly can detect its lover’s scent eight kilometers away.

 How do they do it?  What can we learn?

All these animal stories are not psychic skills, but highly developed observation skills.  Wildlife experts note that animals have acute hearing, and can feel vibration and changes in air pressure that come with weather changes. Life in the wild is dependant on such keen observation skills.

If humans paid more attention to the subtleties of the world around us, we could undoubtedly develop those skills, too.  But those of us in the west have gotten a bit soft when it comes to observing natural phenomena.  Those skills are not gained indoors, in front of the TV.

What does this mean for us?  It might be wise for us to pay more attention to the messages our animals are trying to give us.  In this fast-paced world, spend some time letting them lead you: watch what interests them, where they stop.  What do they notice? What do they hear?

Spend some time looking at the world through their eyes.  They can be amazing teachers and enhance our lives immeasurably.  As such, they deserve our respect and good care.

What have you learned from the animals in your life?

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Here in the U.S., “success” is often attributed to the richest, thinnest, youngest and most famous. Is that backward? I think it is.

I recently came upon another meaningful definition of success. I invite you to ponder it. As a reader of this blog, I feel it’s certain to apply to you.

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Here in the U.S., “success” is often attributed to the richest, thinnest, youngest and most famous.  Is that backward?  I think it is.

I recently came upon another meaningful definition of success.  I invite you to ponder it.  As a reader of this blog, I feel it’s certain to apply to you.

This beautiful poem is traditionally attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson, but there is some question as to whether he wrote it.  For further information, go to: http://www.transcendentalists.com/success.htm

Regardless of who wrote it, I find it inspiring and thought provoking.

To laugh often and much;

To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;

To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;

To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;

To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;

To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.

This is to have succeeded.

I invite you to reflect on your life and all the times you have met these requirements.

Congratulations!

Years ago I read an interview with actress Susan Sarandon in which she told a story about her daughter’s 11th birthday slumber party. The girls were full of gossip so Ms. Sarandon suggested the ground rule that they not talk about anyone who wasn’t there.

The astonished reply from one of the little girls was, “Then what are we supposed to talk about?”

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 Years ago I read an interview with actress Susan Sarandon in which she told a story about her daughter’s 11^th birthday slumber party.   The girls were full of gossip so Ms. Sarandon suggested the ground rule that they not talk about anyone who wasn’t there.

The astonished reply from one of the little girls was, “Then what are we supposed to talk about?”

What is gossip?

According to Miriam-Webster.com, gossip is defined as “a rumor or report of an intimate nature.”  A person who gossips is one who “habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others.”

I find it an oddity of human nature that so many people love to gossip and put down others.  Perhaps it gives them a feeling of superiority to be establishing that someone else is inferior to them.

Or maybe they’re establishing they’re part of an in-crowd by creating an out-crowd.

I believe we all know the fallacy of the childhood rhyme, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”  Gossip and taunts are cruel and unkind and add no value whatsoever to the planet we all share.

It seems that many children learn to bond with one another by either picking on or gossiping about another person or group.  Hence the problem with bullying in schools today.

Or perhaps we just have such poor conversation skills and role models we don’t know what else to talk about!  Aside from parents and teachers, children learn behavior from television and movies. And most TV shows and movies seem to be full of gossip and bad behavior.  No wonder it’s a national problem!

A friend of mine came up with a wonderful reply to use when people asked her about someone else’s business:  “It’s their story to tell.”  That means resisting the urge to be a reporter.  It’s also a version of, “the buck stops here.”  Take responsibility for stopping gossip in its tracks.  You and the planet will be better for it.

Why gossip and negative language is bad for us

 Perhaps this will be some motivation for you:

Research has shown that the subconscious mind only hears the words, not who the words are about.  So if you speak negatively about someone else, your subconscious receives the message as being about you.  So of course you’re going to feel bad!

Native Americans understood this — Bear Heart taught that if you point a finger of scorn at another, you are actually pointing three fingers back at yourself!

A University of Wisconsin study found that low-energy [negative] thoughts and words lower the immune system and make people more illness-prone.

Japanese scientist Dr. Masaru Emoto has written best-selling books on his research with water crystals.   He has established that molecules of water are affected by our thoughts, words and feelings.  He photographed frozen water in petri dishes which had different words and phrases taped to them.

Crystals formed in the dishes with positive words and phrases on them were like beautiful snowflakes.  Crystals formed with negative words on the dish were ugly and deformed.  In fact, one oncologist who saw the photographs said they looked like cancer cells.

Given that the average adult body has a water content of around 70%, this has huge implications.  If we speak or listen to negative words, it can negatively affect the water in our bodies and, therefore, our health.

The healing power of positive words

The Babemba Tribe of South Africa has a unique way of dealing with “criminals.”  When a member of the tribe has committed an offense, they are taken to the village square and surrounded by a circle of every member of the tribe.

One by one the tribal members, including the children, recite to the offending person every good deed they have ever seen him perform, every kind word said, every positive quality.  This goes on until everyone in the tribe has had their say, even if it takes days.  Then they have a celebration to welcome the member back into the tribe.

The positive reminders and words are considered to have healed the “criminal.”  There is reportedly almost no crime in their society.

 Think before you speak

It is a traditional shamanic teaching that, before you speak, you should ask yourself three questions:

Is it true?

Is it kind?

Is it necessary?

If you can’t answer “yes” to all three questions, then don’t say it.

That might force you into a lot of silence, but silence is a very good thing!

If you absolutely, positively can’t hold back on sharing gossip, write it down in a letter you mail only to yourself.  That may help get it out of your system.

Here’s my challenge: go 30 days without saying one unkind or negative thing about or to anyone. Just try it one day at a time and I think you’ll be amazed at how much lighter and happier you feel.

To get you started, my next post will give you some conversation topics as alternatives to gossip.

Let me know how it goes. What alternative conversations did you come up with?  And how did it make you feel?

Most of us know what an “attitude of gratitude” is. But do you know how it can change your life?

"Remember who you wanted to be" was a bumper sticker I saw recently on my morning walk around the lake -- very profound in its simplicity. Most of us had dreams when we were children, dreams of what we wanted to be, do and contribute.

Yet very few of us grew up living our dreams. All too often they were killed by careless comments by our parents, teachers and other authority figures.

But if we all lived by the Original Instructions, there would be no more dream killing. Only support and encouragement.

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 “Everyone is born a genius, but the process of living de-geniuses them.”  — Buckminster Fuller

“Remember who you wanted to be” was a bumper sticker I saw recently on my morning walk around the lake — very profound in its simplicity.  Most of us had dreams when we were children, dreams of what we wanted to be, do and contribute.

Yet very few of us grew up living our dreams.  All too often they were killed by careless comments by our parents, teachers and other authority figures.

But if we all lived by the Original Instructions, there would be no more dream killing.  Only support and encouragement.

As a child, all I ever wanted to do was be a singer and actress when I grew up.  All during my childhood I wrote and directed shows [for me to star in, of course] and convinced all the neighborhood kids to perform in them.  “Hey, kids, let’s put on a show!”

At the age of ten, I summoned up my courage and asked a teacher when I could start my career.

“What career?”

“My career in show business.”

“You have as much chance of success in show business as a snowball in hell.”

That one comment ended my dream. I know my teacher was only doing what she believed would protect me from a hard career and disappointment. It’s just that she was wrong.

Years later, in my senior year of high school, I was cast as the lead in my school musical and I was so good, people were talking about it years later.  In fact, I won the role over a classmate who is now a very well-known actress.

After my successful three performances, my family and teachers understood that I really had the talent to be an actress and singer, but, for me, it was too late.  The dream had died and I didn’t have the confidence to go out into the world and give it a try.

Of course, as fate would have it, I got close to that dream by writing and lecturing in front of large groups [and often opening with a song].  But it took me a long time to summon the courage to do that.

If I had listened to all the people who told me I couldn’t write, The Wind Is My Mother may never have happened.

I once went to an excellent career counselor who told me that what we wanted to be in early childhood is most likely what we are truly meant to do as adults.  We just let others discourage us from using our full human potential.

Don’t let yourself be derailed by others’ judgments, and please don’t do it to anyone else.  If you follow the Original Instructions, you will instead foster dreams and talents.

And what instructions might those be, you ask? Every indigenous person would know: the instructions passed down from the Creator, the elders, the ancestors, on how to live a life in harmony and balance with the world around them.]]>  

“The thing that is wrong in the world today is that people have forgotten their instructions.” Onondaga Chief Leon Shenandoa in “To Become a Human Being”

And what instructions might those be, you ask?  Every indigenous person would know: the instructions passed down from the Creator, the elders, the ancestors, on how to live a life in harmony and balance with the world around them.

 The Brehon Law

In the late 1990s, I was visiting a friend in Dublin, Ireland and, at that time, most of the news headlines were about football riots taking place all over Europe.  But none in Ireland!

One day, while sitting around the kitchen table having afternoon tea, my host made a passing reference to “the Brehon Law.”

“What’s that?” I asked.

“It’s the reason Ireland doesn’t have any football riots.”

A light went off in my head: A code of conduct.  My research into learning more about the Brehon Law was most enlightening.  Here are some of the highlights:

•  It stood for over 3,000 years, until English rule under Cromwell in the 17^th Century ended Ireland’s government of the people, but much of its essence is still found in the culture today.
• At the heart of the Brehon Law was its emphasis on honor. If a person gave his word, he or she kept it.  Written contracts were unknown and unnecessary.   It’s the same way with Native Americans and other indigenous people: a handshake is all that’s needed to seal a deal.  Modern society’s need for lawyers and contracts is why Native people call us “the paper tribe.”
• There was respect for the past and the earth: there are more passage graves and ancient archeological sites left untouched in Ireland than the rest of Europe combined — even in Dublin!  One dolmen I saw [ancient grave site marked by giant rocks] had a roundabout built around it to leave it undisturbed.   This is just one example of why I’m proud to be Irish.
•  Equality of women [not quite on a par with men, but pretty close].

So the Brehon Law consisted of a code of ethics for the Celtic peoples to know how to live well.  And Native American had their code of ethics, too.

The Original Instructions

In my studies with indigenous and ancient cultures around the world, these are the things I find they have in common, all of which stem from “Original Instructions” from the Creator:

•  Value is placed on good character: gratitude, generosity, forgiveness, honor, justice, loyalty, courage, kindness, wisdom, to name just a few;
•  Respect for the earth and all the animal nations;
•  Equality of women [women may have different roles than men, but those roles were highly regarded].

Unlike these ancient codes, modern, contemporary society views life as a hierarchy: the earth is at the bottom and money/power at the top. This ladder view forces constant evaluation of whether you’re above or below others, which leads to competition, insecurity, stress and imbalance.

Indigenous peoples follow a circular way of life.  Round structures, tipis, drums, lodge. Even the legendary King Arthur had the wisdom to seat his knights at a round table.  Everything’s on one plane, nothing higher or lower.  There were no wealthy classes and no poor classes; everyone had enough and was equal and free.

This was such a revolutionary concept to the first Europeans who came to the New World that it became big news back in Europe in the 16^th-18^th centuries: even the “savages” embraced equality!  That news became a catalyst for the demand for democracy in Europe to replace the ruling classes and the abject poverty of the peasants.

In fact, the United States Constitution was modeled after the Great Law of Peace of the Iroquois Confederacy – a code of conduct for governing people justly.  But our forefathers did not adopt all of the Great Law of Peace and that oversight has led to some of the failures in our society today.  More on that in future posts.

“In the beginning were the Instructions…  The Instruction was to live in a good way and be respectful to everyone and everything.”  Vickie Downey, TEWA/Tesuque Pueblo  [www.whitebison.org]

Is there a code you live by?  If not, what code would you like to live by?

The concept of making “new year’s resolutions” has become something of a joke in our society for about as long as I can remember -- the joke being that people never follow through so the “resolution” will never come to fruition.]]>

And that’s a shame because the start of a new cycle [of anything, not just a year] is a chance at a new beginning.

How often in our lives have we wished for a “do over?”  Well, we can “start over” any old time.  And setting specific goals, instead of making resolutions, is an excellent way to do it.

But you have to know the right steps.

The reason resolutions don’t work is that they’re just words and don’t include a plan.  Research has shown that after six months, less than half of people who made New Year’s Resolutions have stuck to them; after a year, less than 10%.  Why?  Because they had no plans.

Goals, however, entail a plan and focus on action!

 Here are the steps to Successful Goal Setting:

Goals must be specific and measureable:

What, how much, by when?    [For example, “I want to lose ten pounds by March 1, 2012.”]

Write them down

Research shows that those who write down their goals accomplish significantly more than those who don’t.

Many motivational speakers and writers site a Yale University study on goals that found that only 3% of the graduating class had specific goals for their future.  And twenty years later, that 3% was earning 10 times that of the group who had no clear goals.  Fascinating statistic but it turns out that very famous “study” was an “urban legend” and never happened!

However, there was a goal setting study at Dominican University that found that writing down one’s goals does increase the likelihood of goal achievement.

Goals simply must be written down!

The last week of each December I sit down and write out my goals for the upcoming year. I have a special book just for this purpose and I keep it handy for frequent review so that I stay on target.

Visualize

“All achievement starts in the imagination before it is ever realized in the physical form.”  Napoleon Hill

What does it look like?  What does it feel like?  The mind cannot tell the difference between vivid imagination and what actually happens.

If you want a car.  specify the model, color and features.

See yourself driving it.

Cut out pictures of the car and look at them every day.

Take time every day to see yourself accomplishing your goal.

A Harvard University study [a real one this time] found that students who visualized in advance were able to perform tasks with almost 100% accuracy.   Students who did not visualize performing their tasks in advance achieved only 55% accuracy.

There’s no such thing as an unrealistic goal.  If you can see it, you can achieve it.

Know why you want it

You don’t need to know how you’ll achieve your goal at the beginning.  What you need to do will become evident over time. Reasons come first, answers follow.

Years ago I set a goal to go to Ireland.  I had no money to make the trip and didn’t know how I’d pull it off.  But I had faith and even told friends I was going.  I got a surprise windfall a few months later and the money paid for the trip!

Also, it’s very important the goal be something you feel excited about, not something someone else wants for you.

Take Action – Make a Plan

This was the one flaw in the film and book “The Secret” – not enough emphasis on the need to take action to accomplish your goals.

You need a plan.  So if you want to lose weight you might want to ask friends who’ve lost weight how they did it, read diet books, talk to your doctor, join Weight Watchers, cut out desserts, start an exercise program.  The resources to success are endless

What, how often, by when are the keys to your action plan.

Have a support team

Tell supportive friends [and only supportive friends] about your goal so that you have some accountability. They can also help you brainstorm ways to achieve them  and help you stay motivated.

Put yourself on your support team by stating your goals in the positive: Goals focus on what you want, not what you don’t want.

Don’t say IF, say WHEN I achieve this goal.  Positive wording is critical.

Be flexible and work around obstacles

Space shuttles are actually off course most of the time.  Their arriving at their target is a matter of making constant corrections to their course.

Identify potential obstacles  to achieving your goal and make a plan for how to work around them.  I live by the rule that there is a solution to every problem.

Goal setting summary:

Goals. . .

1.  are measurable: what, by when, how much.

2.  must be stated in the positive.

3.  should be reviewed regularly, at least monthly, preferably more often.

4.   are most valuable when stated for realistic periods of time, such as: short term, one year, five year,  and ten years.  Clarity leads to results!!

5.  can be made in the following areas:

•  family/love/romance;
• career/finance;
• health;
• nutrition;
• friends/recreation/rest;
• spiritual.

For each of your short term goals, identify three small tasks you can do THIS WEEK toward accomplishing it.  Make a plan and stick to it!

And visualize the outcome you want.  It works!!