Can pessimism be helpful?

I think not.

Not that there’s anything wrong with critical thinking and trying to be aware of potential obstacles.

But I’m talking about people who are negative for the sake of being negative. Because they have not succeeded, they don’t want anyone else to succeed either.

AN EYE-OPENING COMMENT

I like to increase my odds of success by being a thorough researcher. So when I was working on The Wind Is My Mother, I took a class on how to get a non-fiction book published and did absolutely everything suggested. It worked.

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“Don’t ever let somebody tell you that you can’t do something.  You got a dream, you got to protect it.  When people can’t do something themselves, they want to tell you that you can’t do it. If you want something, go get it. Period.”  Will Smith, actor

Can pessimism be helpful?

I think not.

Not that there’s anything wrong with critical thinking and trying to be aware of potential obstacles.

But I’m talking about people who are negative for the sake of being negative.  Because they have not succeeded, they don’t want anyone else to succeed either.

 An eye-opening  comment

I like to increase my odds of success by being a thorough researcher.  So when I was working on The Wind Is My Mother, I took a class on how to get a non-fiction book published and did absolutely everything suggested.   It worked.

Part of the process was to draft a query letter and send it to literary agents willing to accept them from an unknown author.

My roommate at the time told a writer friend of hers that I had sent out query letters and her friend’s reply was, “Now she can sit back and wait for the rejection letters along with the rest of us.”

Wow!  Talk about pessimism.  [Note to self:  don’t share my dreams with people who will try to tear them down].

 Choose your friends carefully

But you also have to find balance between holding the energy on something so the nay-sayers can’t tear you down versus sharing your dream with those who will support the dream.

In other words, choose your friends wisely.

12 years ago I set a goal of going to Ireland.  I had no money for it but I told all my supportive friends that I was going to do it [not wanted to – would do it!]  The money manifested in a wonderful surprising way and I went!

So what I am saying is:  shed the naysayers.  They don’t support you blossoming into the person you were meant to be.

 And don’t be discouraged by failures

The pessimists would prefer we not try or that we give up after the first obstacle.

Fortunately for us, some of our greatest athletes, writers and inventors didn’t let their failures deter them.  To me, that’s what separates the successful from the unsuccessful.

You may find some inspiration from the following successful people who didn’t let pessimists or obstacles stop them:

•  Michael Jordon was cut from his high school basketball team
• J.K. Rowling got 12 rejections before finding a publisher for the Harry Potter series
• Col Sanders received 100s of rejections when seeking backing for his Kentucky Fried Chicken.
• Thomas Edison failed over 9,999 times in the process of inventing the light bulb, and he tested 6,000 materials
• Dr. Seuss was rejected by 28 publishers
• Starbucks founder Howard Schultz spoke to 242 potential investors – all but 17 turned him down
• Walt Disney was turned down 302 times before a bank lent him money to build Disneyland
• Steven Spielberg was rejected when he applied to go to the USC Film School

Here is a list of famous books and the number of times they were rejected:

•  Auntie Mame, Patrick Dennis (15)
• Carrie, Stephen King (30)
• Chicken Soup for the Soul, Jack Canfeld and Mark Victor Hansen (140)
• Diary of Anne Frank (16)
• Dr. Seuss books (15)
• Dubliners, James Joyce (22)
• Dune, Frank Herbert (23)
• Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell (38)
• Jonathan Livingston Seagull, Richard Bach (18)
• Kon-Tiki, Thor Heyerdahl (20)
• M*A*S*H, Richard Hooker (17)
• The Peter Principle, Laurence Peter (16)
• The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot (17)
• Watership Down, Richard Adams (26)
• A Wrinkle in Time, Madeleine L’Engle, (26)

Success belongs not to the most talented, but to those who perservere.

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2. Remain close to the Great Spirit.

3. Show great respect for your fellow beings.

4. Work together for the betterment of all humankind.

]]> The Ten Indian Commandments are all we need to know to heal ourselves and the planet!

1. Treat the earth and all that dwell thereon with respect.
2.  Remain close to the Great Spirit.
3.  Show great respect for your fellow beings.
4.  Work together for the betterment of all humankind.
5.  Give assistance and kindness wherever needed.
6.  Be truthful and honest at all times.
7.  Do what you know to be right.
8.  Look after the well-being of mind and body.
9.  Take full responsibility for your actions.
10.  Dedicate a share of your efforts to the greater good.

Memorial is often a time of sadness that someone has died, but it's better used as a time of celebration that someone has lived and touched our lives.

]]> In honor of Mother’s Day, I would like to share the memoriam I wrote after my mother passed away ten years ago.  I hope it can serve as a reminder of the little things we should cherish every day.

My mother went home to her ancestors on October 13, 2002 in Hospice House, Holland, Michigan, surrounded by her family.

Memorial is often a time of sadness that someone has died, but it’s better used as a time of celebration that someone has lived and touched our lives.

When her health started failing the previous February, my mother told my father that she was ready to go, that she’d had a good life, they’d done most everything they wanted to and she had no regrets.

Rita Iva McCallion was born in Brooklyn, New York in 1919, the granddaughter of Irish immigrants.  My father is the son of Irish immigrants and I’ve always been proud of that fact that my heritage is 100% Irish.  And if you’re Irish, family is everything.

Mom loved being a wife and mother.  I remember from childhood that any time she had to fill out a form that asked her occupation, she didn’t write “housewife”, as most women of her day would — she always referred to herself as “homemaker.”  She was proud of that, and she was very good at it.

She prepared three good meals a day and got up early to fix breakfast for us, even after my brother and I were long old enough to prepare our own.

She kept a beautiful house, and was a gracious hostess — she had 12 place settings of her good china and she used them often.

I never heard her gossip or say an unkind word about anyone.

She was good at fixing things and finding things.  If it was lost, she’d play detective and track it down.  She was also very handy, teaching herself how to do many home repairs rather than pay someone else to fix it.  [She was Irish, after all!]  She even taught herself to rewire lamps, a skill she passed on to me.

She always claimed she wasn’t very smart, but she was a voracious reader and we always fought over whose team she’d be on at family Trivial Pursuit games because she always knew the answers to the history and geography questions that no one else could answer.

She was also prophetic.  She told me that in the 1940s she was standing on the front porch with friends, looking up at the night sky and she predicted that in her lifetime, man would fly to the moon.  Her friends said she was crazy.

A few years after I’d graduated from college, I was living at home while attending paralegal school.  Years later I came to realize that the reason she encouraged me to work in the legal profession was the hope that I’d marry a lawyer.  It became a running joke between us that during our weekly phone conversations she’d ask if I’d met any nice young lawyers and I’d always reply, “Mom, there are no nice young lawyers.”

The paralegal course was at a local college, close enough that I rode my bike to and from class every day.  One rainy afternoon I found my mother parked at a corner she knew I’d pass on the way home– even thought I was in my mid-20s, there was no way she was going to let me ride my bike in the rain.  Being an outdoors woman, I would have been happy to ride in the rain, but I also knew the importance of accepting a gift graciously so I dutifully loaded my bike in the trunk and let her drive me home.

In her later years when her children felt she’d earned a good retirement from housework, she  always asked what she could to do help. Three years before her death, my parents were visiting me and we were expecting my niece and nephew to join us for Thanksgiving.

My cleaning lady, who was scheduled to clean the house the day before Thanksgiving, called that morning and said she was sick and couldn’t come.  My mother’s response was, “I’d better get busy!“  She cleaned my entire house while I was at work, and this was after her first hip fracture, when she didn’t get around that well.

Even in the last two months living with my brother and sister-in-law, with her health failing, she wanted to be useful so she’d fold the laundry as best she could.  She always wanted to make a contribution.

Mom never lost her sense of humor and we had quite a few laughs together during her final days in hospice. At one point I played a CD of lovely, lilting Irish music — what I’d want to be listening to if I were getting ready to make my transition.

Then my brother remembered that my mother always said she didn’t like sad Irish music, so my sister-in-law asked her if she’d like to hear some Irish jigs.  Mom really couldn’t speak any more, nor open her eyes, but somehow managed to say “sure.”  So we put on CDs of Irish jigs and folk songs and sang along with the ones we knew, and my mother died with a smile on her face.

She was always gracious, humble, kind and funny.  She did a good job at everything she undertook.  We miss her terribly, but the many happy memories we shared as a family will fill our heart forever.

If your mother is still living, cherish her every day.  If she is gone, honor her memory by living well.

Years ago, my friend Carol stopped at a gas station while driving through Oklahoma. Just as her car was approaching the pump, she was cut off by a big RV that pulled in ahead of her.

Carol was pissed and found another pump. When she went inside to pay, the woman who had cut her off was standing in front of her in line. Carol resolved to give her a dirty look when she turned around.

But her world was turned upside down when she heard the woman say to the cashier,

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“Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins.”  Native American proverb

Years ago, my friend Carol stopped at a gas station while driving through Oklahoma.

Just as her car was approaching the pump, she was cut off by a big RV that pulled in ahead of her.

Carol was pissed and found another pump.

When she went inside to pay, the woman who had cut her off was standing in front of her in line and Carol resolved to give her a dirty look when she turned around.

But Carol’s world was turned upside down when she heard the woman say to the cashier,

“Would you please pray for me?  I was on vacation with my husband and he died of a heart attack.  I have to drive our RV home and I don’t even know how to put gas in the tank.”

Carol was shocked, touched and, most of all, humbled.

Give the benefit of the doubt

I know that, for myself, driving is the most likely scenario for the worst of me to come out.

How many times have we been angered when someone seemingly does something selfish or inconsiderate?  Drives too slow, drives too fast, cuts us off?

Yet perhaps their distracted actions were the result of just having had a death in the family, gotten a cancer diagnosis, been fired, or had their house foreclosed on.

We can never know the pain in someone else’s heart.

So try to remember that we are all related.  If you see someone having a hard time, send them love, or say a prayer.

Let’s all vow to give our fellow humans the benefit of the doubt.

Learn to change road rage into road compassion and let our humanity shine.

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The film opens with the following statement:

“Aurora is a natural light display in the sky, particularly in the polar regions, caused by the collision of charged particles directed by the Earth’s magnetic field.”

Hmmm! That’s a very nice scientific explanation, but what are they really?

]]> The other day I stumbled upon a short marketing film by the Finnish government about the Northern Lights.  It’s lovely and I’ve linked to it at the end of this post.

 The Science

The film opens with the following statement:

“Aurora is a natural light display in the sky, particularly in the polar regions, caused by the collision of charged particles directed by the Earth’s magnetic field.”

Hmmm!  That’s a very nice scientific explanation, but what are they really?

Those of us who view the world with spiritual eyes will have our own explanation.  And the Native peoples of northern regions have their own.

 The Legends

An Eskimo legend says there is a land of giants living in the far north and whenever they are out with their torches to spear fish, they brighten the sky.

Another legend says they are torches in the hands of our Ancestor Spirits, lighting the way for the souls of those who have just died, to lead them to the hereafter, a place where illness and pain are no more, and there is an abundance of all kinds of food.

According to the Eskimos, the Ancestor Spirits communicate with the people on earth making a whistling noise and the Earth people can answer back only in a whisper. Sometimes the wind whistles, could that be our ancestors calling to us?

The Eskimos teach that they are able to call on the Aurora and converse with it, and they send messages to their deceased ancestors through it.

The lower Yukon River Eskimos believed that the aurora was the dance of animal spirits, especially those of deer, seals, salmon and beluga.

An Algonquin myth tells that when Nanahbozho, creator of the Earth, had finished the task of the creation, He traveled to the north, where He remained. He built large fires, of which the northern lights are the reflections, to remind His people that he still thinks of them.

The Aboriginal Tribes of Australia have similar stories about the Southern Lights.

Think about it.  All of the above could be true!!

 Personal interpretations

When we learn to view the natural world around us as mystical and meaningful, our lives are enriched in countless ways.

When I look at the northern lights in this two-minute film, I see our ancestors dancing around a sacred fire, lighting the way for us when it’s time for us to cross over from this physical world and join them.

You can watch them here:

http://premiere.whatcounts.com/t?ctl=16AD1D2:F8A8EF2FBCB5A2AF01B6831337D31E46B4B847859706E37D&

What do the Northern Lights mean to you?  Please feel free to leave your comments below.

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This is a list of some of my favorites:

]]> One of my subscribers asked for a suggested reading list to help gain more insight into Native American spirituality and I am happy to oblige.

I have one caveat, however:  Indigenous spirituality cannot truly be understood intellectually.  It is based in the heart and the body and communicating with the natural world.    I strongly recommend following the practices I share in my posts, particularly those that involve communication with nature.   The reading will be a nice supplement to that.

This is a list of some of my favorites:

Blogs

www.WhiteBison.org – log onto the Meditations tab to subscribe to their daily Elder Meditations.   Excellent.

Non-Fiction

“The Wind Is My Mother; The Life and Teachings of a Native American Shaman” by Bear Heart and Molly Larkin

“Wisdomkeepers: Meetings with Native American Spiritual Elders” by Steve Wall and Harvey Arden

“To Become a Human Being: The Message of Tadodaho Chief Leon Shenandoah” by Steve Wall

“Indian Givers: How Native Americans Transformed the World” by Jack Weatherford

“Animal-Speak: The Spiritual & Magical Powers of Creatures Great & Small” by Ted Andrews

“Nature-Speak: Signs, Omens and Messages in Nature” by Ted Andrews

“Black Elk: The Sacred Ways of a Lakota” by Wallace Black Elk and William S. Lyon

“Buffalo Woman Comes Singing: The Spirit Song of a Rainbow Medicine Woman” by Brooke Medicine Eagle

“Black Elk Speaks: Being the Life Story of a Holy Man of the Oglala Sioux, The Premier Edition” by John G. Neihardt

“The Sacred Pipe: Black Elk’s Account of the Seven Rites of the Oglala Sioux (Civilization of the American Indian Series, Vol. 36)” by Joseph Epes  Brown

“The Medicine Wheel: Earth Astrology” by Sun Bear and Wabun

“The Vision Keepers: Walking for Native Americans and the Earth” by Doug Alderson.  Good insight into Native American ceremonies and the modern day struggles of Native Americans with alcoholism, poverty and attempting to preserve their traditional values.

Fiction

These books are entertaining while sharing authentic glimpses into Native American life

“Winona’s Web: A Novel of Discovery” by Priscilla Cogan [this was a favorite of Bear Heart’s due to it’s accurate depiction of Native American philosophy and ceremony]

“Seminole Freedom” by Doug Alderson

The cedar tree has been revered for it’s spiritual qualities by many cultures, and is frequently referenced in the Bible: it was chosen to build the temple of God in Jerusalem [1 Kings 6:9-20].

The wood is not attacked by insects, has no knots and has remarkable longevity: the cedar forests of Lebanon often had a lifespan of over 2,000 years.

Cedar wood was used to build the doors of sacred temples in ancient cultures and burned for purification.

]]> Last week, I shared Bear Heart’s story of how the cedar tree is a gift from the Creator.   Today’s post shares more teachings about cedar.

The history of cedar

The cedar tree has been revered for it’s spiritual qualities by many cultures, and is frequently referenced in the Bible: it was chosen to build the temple of God in Jerusalem [1 Kings 6:9-20].

•  The wood is not attacked by insects, has no knots and has remarkable longevity: the cedar forests of Lebanon often had a lifespan of over 2,000 years.
•  Cedar wood was used to build the doors of sacred temples in ancient cultures and burned for purification.
•  The branches grow wide and parallel to the ground. 19^th Century author John Worcester compared the limbs of a cedar tree to the process of attaining successively higher natural and spiritual knowledge.  I view it as climbing a ladder bringing me closer to the Great Spirit.
•  Cedar trees are protective in the way the boughs droop down sheltering the trunk of the tree, and its size and longevity symbolize strength.
•  And, of course, it stays green year-round, a reminder to those living in winter climates that the green will always return.

Honoring evergreen trees is the origin of the holiday practice of wreaths and Christmas trees – the wreaths and trees were actually prayers and affirmations that the green would return in the spring.

 Harvesting cedar

Some metaphysical book stores sell small bags of cedar, but it’s much more gratifying and traditional to pick it in a sacred manner yourself, by first making an offering of tobacco.

When approaching cedar trees, do so with humility and gratitude, selecting one as the grandfather or grandmother tree.  Make an offering of tobacco to it, asking permission to take a small branch from one of the other trees.  [If there is only one cedar tree, make your offering to it].

Juniper is in the cedar family and may be used if you have no access to cedar.

The tobacco offering is because there must always be an exchange, an offering, a gift of gratitude.

Your prayer for harvesting any herb should include the following elements, expressed in your own words from your heart:

•  Ask permission to take just a little cedar, explaining that you will use it for prayer.
• Ask that the tree will not feel pain when you cut a small branch from it.
• Ask for protection and abundance for the green nation
• Express your gratitude for the gifts cedar brings.
•  Then leave your tobacco offering and cut off a small branch of cedar.

When you get home, let it dry in a shady place that is not too hot.   Heat or direct sun will damage the essential oils that give cedar [or any herb] its distinctive aroma. Once dry, place some cedar needles on a burning coal so that it smokes.

These instructions apply to any herbs you pick.

 Purification

People usually think of sage when they are going to “smudge” – meaning burning herbs so that the smoke will purify.  When a person or object is smudged with sage, the smoke clears away any negativity in the energy field.

•  Burning cedar is often used for smudging or blessing, as an alternative to sage.
•  When an elder wants to bless or heal someone, a feather is used to fan cedar or sage smoke over them.
• During ceremony, if a gift is to be given, it is first blessed with cedar smoke.
•  Spiritual instruments such as the Sacred Pipe, drums and feathers are passed through cedar smoke for purification before use.
•  Cedar smoke is an excellent way to purify crystals.
•  If there has been an illness or upset in a home, burning cedar will help clear away the negative energy.
•  If you regularly build fires in your fireplace, offer cedar to the fire as a blessing and honoring.  It will help you build a relationship with fire, one of the most powerful and magical of the elements.

For any situation for which you would use sage, you can also use cedar.

 Praying with cedar

A lovely, traditional way of offering prayers for someone is to let them know, “I’m going to burn cedar for you.”  It tells them you are going to pray for them with the smoke, which will carry your prayers up to the Creator.

In the winter, I place cedar on coals from my fireplace each morning when I pray.

Other times of the year, when I don’t have a fire going, I keep the cedar in small branches and light the branch.  It doesn’t smoke for long, but it burns long enough to pray.

We actually need nothing in order to pray, but burning cedar helps us to focus our prayers.  And anything that can help us focus is a good thing.

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Earth Day is the perfect day to focus on the Sacred Hoop of All Creation and how to establish a relationship with the natural world around us.

In indigenous cultures, the circle is sacred -- when we sit in a circle there is a spirit of oneness and everyone is equal.

The elders teach that the universe is in harmony as long as the Sacred Hoop, the circle of life, is intact.

The Sacred Hoop includes all of life: the four directions (West, North, East and South), the earth, trees, plants, rivers, oceans, two-leggeds, four-leggeds, winged creatures, swimmers (fish) and "creepy crawlers" (insects).

They all bring their own unique contribution to the earth and one another.

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 Earth Day is the perfect day to focus on the Sacred Hoop of All Creation and how to establish a relationship with the natural world around us.

In indigenous cultures, the circle is sacred — when we sit in a circle there is a spirit of oneness and everyone is equal.

The elders teach that the universe is in harmony as long as the Sacred Hoop, the circle of life, is intact.

The Sacred Hoop includes all of life:

• the four directions (West, North, East and South),
• the earth,
• trees,
• plants,
• rivers,
• the waters,
• two-leggeds,
• four-leggeds,
• winged creatures,
• swimmers (fish) and
• “creepy crawlers”  (insects).

They all bring their own unique contribution to the earth and one another.

Our existence is so intertwined that our survival depends upon maintaining a balanced relationship with all our relatives within the Sacred Hoop. Put more bluntly, the future of planet earth depends on our mending the Sacred Hoop.

The latest cutting-edge research by quantum physicists reveals that the universe is connected by a vast quantum energy field — something indigenous peoples have always taught.

Cedar Man understood that we must be responsible for one another’s well being if the Hoop is to remain intact.

In the Native American way, every tree, herb, plant and animal has a story of its origins and the gift it offers to the earth and those living upon it.

Everything in creation is respected as an equal.

Humans are not greater than or less than anything else — we are all related.

This is one of the key differences between the traditional Native outlook and that of modern western cultures which view the world as a hierarchy.

 Orphans and elders

Cedar Man had the compassion to take in orphans and help elders who had no children of their own to care for them.

In many traditional Native societies there was no need for orphanages because children who lost their parents were taken in and raised by relatives.

Women who lost their husbands would be given a home — this is one reason many men had more than one wife!

Elders and ancestors were honored and respected as caretakers of the wisdom of the tribe through their many years of experience.  Their status in the tribe is a far cry from the way our “civilized” society abandons its elders in old age homes to die alone and without dignity.

This respect for elders and ancestors is common to most indigenous societies.

 Communicating with the earth

Here are three small ways you can establish a relationship with Mother Earth and help mend the Sacred Hoop:

1.  Greet a tree or shrub each day.  When you walk up to a tree that has a branch at your height, reach out and gently touch it, as if it were a friend.
2.  Make regular tobacco offerings when you find something in nature that inspires you.
3.  When you go for a walk or hike, take a garbage bag and pick up trash.

These are simple ways we can honor our Mother Earth and the nature spirits.

I promise they’ll take note and start honoring you in return.

“When the elders could no longer hunt for themselves, he would bring them food.

“A young couple getting married could count on him to help make their tipi poles and gather the hides needed to cover their lodge.

“If a child's family was killed, he would take that child in and raise it as his own.

“And there were many more good deeds he performed that no one knew of, because he never sought praise or attention for his actions. Every day he remained alert to what he could do to help his tribe, and he did so with good humor and enthusiasm.

"Many years went by in this way and all the while the Creator watched this man and took note of his virtues.

]]> This story about the Cedar Tree was told to me by Bear Heart:

 ”A long time ago, there lived a human being who always went out of his way to help the people of his village.

“When the elders could no longer hunt for themselves, he would bring them food.

“A young couple getting married could count on him to help make their tipi poles and gather the hides needed to cover their lodge.

“If a child’s family was killed, he would take that child in and raise it as his own.

“And there were many more good deeds he performed that no one knew of, because he never sought praise or attention for his actions.  Every day he remained alert to what he could do to help his tribe, and he did so with good humor and enthusiasm.

“Many years went by in this way and all the while the Creator watched this man and took note of his virtues.

“At long last, when the man’s hair had turned to snow, and the days ahead were becoming fewer, the Creator thought, ‘All these years I’ve watched him help my people.  I could use someone like him to be helping out all the time.  I’m going to immortalize him.’

“So the Creator turned the man into a cedar tree.”

Bear Heart continued:

“There are many uses for cedar  — it stays green year round, so it can be gathered and dried at any time.  Burning dried cedar on coals creates smoke and we can pray with that smoke — it carries our prayers up to the Heavens.

“When children are restless in a home, burning cedar calms them down.

“When you just don’t feel too good for hardly any reason at all, you can burn cedar in your home and you’ll feel better.  The cedar already knows what’s needed to bring harmony because he was a man who knew how to help people.

“So that’s the story of cedar.  He was a man once.”

Stories teach our children

Of all the Native American stories I’ve been told, this story of how cedar came to the people is my favorite.

Such stories told to children impressed upon them that everything is gift from the Creator, everything has a purpose, and the importance of developing good character and helping one another.  A lesson wrapped in a story – a perfect teaching tool.

And just one more example of the importance of reading to our children!

Over the years I have met many people with a thirst for learning about Native American spirituality.  Some are anxious to attend or perform traditional Native American ceremonies, or even want to become a “medicine person” or “shaman.”

But character is the cornerstone of the indigenous spiritual way of life.  When a medicine person considers taking on an apprentice, he or she looks for someone with good character, who will not misuse the medicine ways to hurt others.

The purpose of carrying medicine, or of following the Native American spiritual path, is to help the people live balanced lives — that is what all traditional Native people, including the medicine people, seek.

To get up in the morning grateful for a new day and to do one’s best each day, looking for where you can be helpful — that’s what Native people call walking the Red Road — the road of life.  Practicing these simple teachings is the way to walk that road in a good way, and your life will be blessed by it.

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The grandson asked him, "Which wolf will win the fight in my heart?"

]]> A young Native American man was talking to his grandfather about how he felt.

 He said,  “I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart.

“One wolf is the vengeful, angry, violent one.

“The other wolf is the loving, compassionate one.”

 The grandson asked him, “Which wolf will win the fight in my heart?”

The grandfather answered:  “The one that you feed.”

]]> http://www.mollylarkin.com/2012/04/15/a-native-american-story/feed/ 0 http://www.mollylarkin.com/2012/04/11/social-activism-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/ http://www.mollylarkin.com/2012/04/11/social-activism-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/#comments Thu, 12 Apr 2012 02:30:14 +0000 Molly Larkin http://www.mollylarkin.com/?p=1073 “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” Gandhi

I’m a big fan of peaceful social activism. Having marched in the 1970s in opposition to the Vietnam War, I’m proud that my generation helped end it.

We have even more opportunity today, with the advent of online petitions that are getting lots of results, fast.

UGLY SOCIAL ACTIVISM

But there is also un-social activism that causes me concern. I’m thinking specifically of Spike Lee’s ill-advised re-tweet of the supposed address of George Zimmerman, who shot and killed Trayvon Martin.

]]>

“An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” Gandhi

 I’m a big fan of peaceful social activism.  Having marched in the 1970s in opposition to the Vietnam War, I’m proud that my generation helped end it.

We have even more opportunity today, with the advent of online petitions that are getting lots of results, fast.

 Ugly social activism

But there is also un-social activism that causes me concern.  I’m thinking specifically of Spike Lee’s ill-advised re-tweet of the supposed address of George Zimmerman, who shot and killed Trayvon Martin.

Lee re-tweeted someone else’s tweet of the address.  But it was the wrong address, and an innocent couple who resided there had to flee their home and move to a hotel.  It is fortunate that no vigilantes fired shots into their home.

What was Lee thinking?  Apparently he wasn’t thinking.  Even if the address was correct, his reckless act could not have led to anything good. He was promoting the exact type of vigilantism that Zimmerman is accused of.   Lee ended up apologizing and compensating the couple.  But, whew, that was close.

After Lee’s re-tweet, Roseanne Barr tweeted the correct address of Zimmerman’s parents, and still makes no apologies for it.

All these actions do is create confusion and bad energy.  There is enough of that going around.  Celebrities have an obligation not to add to it.

 Good social activism

Sometimes the best course of action is to do nothing.  So I would say, act responsibly or don’t act at all.  Remember the guideline that before you speak [or email or tweet], ask yourself it it’s true, kind and necessary.

And before you forward someone else’s tweet or email, verify its accuracy.    Probably 90% of the forwarded emails we get these days are inaccurate.  You can check them out first at snopes.com — the definitive Internet reference source for urban legends, folklore, myths, rumors, and misinformation.

The greatest forces for positive change in the last century have been the peacemakers:

• Martin Luther King, Jr.
• Mother Theresa,
• Nelson Mandela, and
• Gandhi

are prime examples.

They have made an enormous impact on the world through peaceful means. None of them would have tweeted someone’s home address unless it was to send them flowers.

 The wonderful tools at our disposal

Change.org is an online petition site founded in February 2007.  In its short history, it has accomplished a great deal.   Here are the results just a few of their petitions have achieved:

•  Bank of America cancelled its plans to institute a $5 monthly debit card fee
• Verizon dropped its online payment fee
• Stopped the foreclosure on the home of Helen Bailey, 78-year old grandmother and former civil rights activist
• Persuaded Major League Baseball teams to make anti-homophobia videos
• 1-800 flowers now offers fair trade blooms
• Universal Studios incorporated environmental messages on its The Lorax website
• USDA will now offer school districts a choice of beef with or without “pink slime”
• South African Parliament agreed to establish a National Task Team to end “corrective rape”
• Bank of America opposed a North Carolina amendment on the ballot to ban gay marriage

And so much more. You can search their site by topic to find petitions you would like to support.

If you log on to sign a petition, I advise you create an account and set your email notification settings within change.org to avoid getting inundated with emails.

Signing their petitions can give you a powerful voice, and is so much easier than driving across the state to join a march as I did in the 1970s.

 Thank you for being

In the Seneca language there is a phrase used as a greeting;  “Nyah Weh Skenno.”  As a follower of my blog, I would like to greet you with that phrase.  Here is the translation:

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Here are a dozen methods for you to try. Start with five minutes once or twice a day and work up to 15-20 minutes.

]]> It’s not hard to learn how to meditate. The secret is to find the technique that works for you.

Psychologists estimate the average person has at least 50,000 thoughts a day and 90% are the same as yesterday. Meditation is simply stilling the chatter of our mind to come to a place of relaxation and peace.

Here are a dozen methods for you to try. Start with five minutes once or twice a day and work up to 15-20 minutes.  While you do it, sit or lie down keeping your spine straight.

1. Observe nature with eyes open. One of the things I learned from Native Americans is that meditation doesn’t have to be sitting inside with your eyes closed. Sitting outside with eyes and ears opened and observing the world around us is a very powerful meditation.  Watch a bug, birds in flight, flowers in their array of colors, kittens playing – any of these can bring a wealth of joy and insight.
2. Walk in nature while making the same observations.
3. Take a class and learn a mantra or choose a word and focus on it.
4. Follow your breath while sitting with your eyes closed; if it’s very quiet, you may be able to hear your heart pump and blood flow.
5. Go into silence: turn off tv, radio, ipod, phone.
6. Practice the Native American teaching of eating in silence: no tv, no conversation.  Just focus on the blessing of the food and nourishment you’re receiving. Visualize it going through your body creating health and well-being.
7. Close your eyes and feel the contours of a small rock.  What is its temperature, texture, shape, size?
8. Read something meaningful and/or inspiring and contemplate what you’ve read.
9. Listen to a guided meditation CD.  I offer two on my Shop page.
10. Focus on something with your eyes open for a few minutes, then close your eyes and visualize it.
11. Listen to beautiful music.
12. Chant the word OM.  It’s the sound of creation.  Scientists have recorded the sound of the earth spinning on its axis and determined it’s the sound of OM.  Buddhists teach that enlightenment can be reached just through the chanting of OM.

You haven’t failed if extraneous thoughts come in; it’s part of the process.  One second of deep peace is more than worth the other 15 minutes or so of passing thoughts, I guarantee it.  I used to hate meditation; now it’s the highlight of my day.

What would be different in your life if you relaxed more by meditating?  Give it a try and let me know.

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MEDITATION HAS BEEN PROVEN TO:

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“Half an hour’s meditation is essential except when you are very busy.  Then a full hour is needed.” Francis de Sales

You’ve probably heard much of this before, but a little more inspiration can’t hurt.

 Meditation has been proven to:

1. Reduce mental tension and improve outlook
2. Help lower blood pressure
3. Strengthen the heart
4. Decrease heart and respiratory rates
5. Increase blood flow
6. Help you sleep better
7. Reduce the intensity and length of allergy and asthma attacks
8. Manage chronic pain
9. Boost brain power
10. Slow down age-related brain atrophy
11. Increase learning ability

 Reducing pain

New research from England helps confirm that meditation can also reduce our perception of pain. Since a great part of pain is our anticipation or perception of it, this is a huge benefit.

Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center researchers found that a little over ½ hour of meditation training can dramatically reduce both the experience of pain and pain-related brain activation.  While morphine and pain-killers can typically reduce pain ratings by 25%, the Wake Forest study found a 40% reduction in pain with meditation!

 Meditation boosts our brain power

In recent studies, researchers at the University of California, Los Angeles found that people who meditate regularly have stronger neuronal connections between brain regions and less age-related atrophy in all areas of the brain.

Eileen Luders, one of the UCLA researchers, states that regular meditation, over years, “may slow down aging-related brain atrophy, perhaps by positively affecting the immune system.  Meditation appears to be a powerful mental exercise with the potential to change the physical structure of the brain.”

 We are all related

Yes, this is becoming a recurring theme in my posts, but its really the key to understanding life and living it well.

In Why God Won’t Go Away: Brain Science and the Biology of Belief, physicians Andrew Newberg and Eugene D’Aquili  reported their research on the brains of Buddhist monks and Franciscan nuns during deep meditation or prayer.

They discovered that the portion of the brain that orients us in the physical world, helping us separate “them” from “us” essentially shuts down during deep meditation, creating a feeling of oneness and connectedness with the world around them.

Pretty good route towards world peace.

 Increasing learning ability

 We’re also more effective learners when we relax. I know it seems counterintuitive, but taking more breaks can make you more productive.  A relaxed mind is a creative mind. I get some of my best ideas during meditation; I’m not looking for them. They just come because there’s room for them.

A high-priced attorney I used to work with was told by his biggest client that he’d pay him his hourly rate to take walks on the beach and think about the case. That was a smart client.  [And we won that case big-time].

If you don’t already have a meditation practice, my next post will give you some suggestions on how to start.

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The two parents were putting up a very loud squawk and, as I got closer, I saw that one of the babies had become stranded on the shore side of a big log and the parents were encouraging it to climb over.

The baby kept trying to get over the log but the log was too big and the baby too small. So the parents took turns stepping up on the log, turning around and squatting in the hopes the baby would grab on to them and be pulled out. After about a dozen attempts, they succeeded.

The irony was that if any of them had looked to the baby’s left, they would have seen it could easily have swum around the log to freedom! But they were all too focused on the problem right in front of them to look for other solutions.

It struck me that this was a perfect example of the benefits of meditation. Stop, take a break, relax, regroup and look around for a fresh perspective. That usually allows inspiration and new ideas to flow in.

]]> Last spring as I was walking around the lake near my home, I came upon a family of swans by the shore: two beautiful, huge adults and 10 little baby swans.  Ten!

[Yes, I know they’re called cygnets but that word isn’t cute enough to do them justice].

The two parents were putting up a very loud squawk and, as I got closer, I saw that one of the babies had become stranded on the shore side of a big log and the parents were encouraging it to climb over.

The baby kept trying to climb over but the log was too big and the baby too small.  So the parents took turns stepping up on the log, turning around and squatting in the hopes the baby would grab on to them and be pulled out.  After about a dozen attempts, they succeeded.

The irony was that if any of them had looked to the baby’s left, they would have seen it could easily have swum around the log to freedom!  But they were all too focused on the problem right in front of them to look for other solutions.

It struck me that this was a perfect example of the benefits of meditation. Stop, take a break, relax, regroup and look around for a fresh perspective.  That usually allows inspiration and new ideas to flow in.

Focusing on a problem is seldom the way to solution.  Or, as Albert Einstein said, 

How I learned to hate meditation

My own relationship with meditation has been fraught with ups and downs.  In my twenties, I joined a cult, which seemed like a very good idea at the time, but was hard on a lot of levels.

One of the many disciplines we were encouraged [I’m being polite here] to undertake was to meditate for one hour every morning and one hour every night. It was virtually impossible for me.  I like to be physically active and found sitting in one place for more than 5 minutes at a time was very difficult.  So meditation wasn’t working for me in the least!

And, being a perfectionist, I felt that if I couldn’t meditate for the full hour, there was no point in meditating at all, so I rarely did it!

How I learned to love meditation

Twenty years after starting on the Native American path, I decided to give Eastern meditation another try and this time, it worked like a charm.  I now have a daily meditation practice of meditating on a mantra for 15-20 minutes each morning and I love it.  My readiness was probably a combination of having matured and slowed down and finding the right meditation practice for me.

Also, 15 minutes is pretty easy compared to the two hours a day I was relegated to decades before. It’s now part of my morning spiritual practice and my favorite part of the day.

By stilling the usual clutter in my mind, it makes room for inspiration.  Some of my best ideas and solutions slip in during my meditation time. Just as the swans might have found the easy way out if they’d stopped their frantic rescue efforts and taken a look around.

My next two posts will remind you of the many reasons to meditate [including some you may not have heard before] and different techniques of meditation to try.

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After all, there was no internet then to spread the word. Those who continued to view April 1 as the first day of the year were called “Fools”.

But this story doesn’t hold water because the history of pranking on April 1 started long before the Gregorian Calendar came along in 1582, and it also has traditions around the world.

Another theory is that the timing of a day of pranks is tied to the arrival of spring, when nature “fools” humankind with fickle weather. That explanation makes sense to me, particularly this year.

]]> Traditionally, April 1 is “April Fool’s Day,” an opportunity to play harmless and fun jokes and tricks on others.   Frankly, I’ve never been a fan.

Not much is known about the origin of this holiday.  One popular origin tale is that when the Gregorian Calendar  moved the first day of the year from April 1 to January 1, not everyone got the message, or simply chose to ignore it.

After all, there was no internet then to spread the word.  Those who continued to view April 1 as the first day of the year were called “Fools”.

But this story doesn’t hold water because the history of pranking on April 1 started long before the Gregorian Calendar came along in 1582, and it also has traditions around the world.

Another theory is that the timing of a day of pranks is tied to the arrival of spring, when nature “fools” humankind with fickle weather.  That explanation makes sense to me, particularly this year.

Do we really want to fool people?

Now I consider myself to have a good sense of humor.  Everyone who knows me would agree.   But I am not a fan of pranks.  I just don’t see the humor in putting salt in the sugar jar or tying someone’s shoe laces together.

Perhaps it’s really just a day to let off steam and let out your passive aggressive nature.  But there’s got to be a better way.

So, not being a fan of April Fool’s Day, I propose a new April 1 tradition:

April Appreciation Day

What a wonderful way to celebrate the renewal of mother earth.  Let her children know they are loved and appreciated.

As we know from my Workaholic post, I am often in a rush and do everything fast.   And in my daily interactions I’m sorry to admit that I don’t always even make much eye contact with the cashier or barista.

In The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich (Expanded and Updated), author Tim Ferriss gives an assignment of spending two days making good eye contact with everyone you meet.  What a revelation that was.  I loved it and have been doing it ever since.  It has inspired me to try harder to make people feel appreciated.  So I’ve been thinking about other ways to do it and here they are.

Little ways to show appreciation on April 1:

• Say “Please” and “thank you” always
• Make eye contact
• Hold the door open and let people enter before you
• Let other drivers enter your lane
• Answer phone calls, emails and invitations promptly
• Bring treats to work for your co-workers
• Pay the toll for the car behind you
• Pay for the coffee of the next person in line
• Let someone in front of you in the grocery line
• Let moms with children and the elderly go before you
• Put coins in a stranger’s expired parking meter
• Remember people’s birthdays
• Give sincere compliments

Research shows that acts of kindness increase our levels of serotonin [the hormone that makes us feel happy] and strengthen our immune system.  Amazingly, those who witness acts of kindness get the same benefit as those performing and receiving these acts.

So, just for a day, show appreciation and kindness as much as you can.  My guess is that it may become addictive!!  And what other ways can you come up with?

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We must respect one another’s medicines.

THE UNKNOWN SPIRITUAL LIFE OF TOBACCO

Tobacco has the quality of being able to absorb. When made into a poultice, it can absorb toxins out of a rash or bug bite. When you pray with it, it absorbs your prayers. And when smoked, the smoke carries your prayers up to the Creator.

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Tobacco plant and flower

Tobacco is an herb that has become a pariah in our society, yet is sacred to many native peoples.  It wasn’t meant to be used and smoked the way we use it in our society.

My first teacher, Sun Bear, had a wonderful saying:

We must respect one another’s medicines.

 The unknown spiritual life of tobacco

Tobacco has the quality of being able to absorb.  When made into a poultice, it can absorb toxins out of a rash or bug bite.  When you pray with it, it absorbs your prayers. And when smoked, the smoke carries your prayers up to the Creator.

Bear Heart taught that the age-old Shamanic way of praying is to hold a pinch of tobacco between the first three fingers of your hand, say your prayer, then open your fingers and let the tobacco fall to the ground.  Don’t toss it, let it fall.  The nature spirits will then work on fulfilling that prayer.

It is traditional for someone asking for help or teaching from a native healer or elder to offer them tobacco.  This is not payment for their services.  The tobacco holds some of the energy of the patient who held it, helping the healer to connect with them.

It also acts as an energetic protection for the healer so they don’t take on any of what the patient releases.  You can read more about this in chapter 6 of The Wind Is My Mother.

Why casual use of tobacco can make us sick

Think about the circumstances under which you smoke: when stressed, or in bars surrounded by all sorts of different people with all sorts of different energies and intentions.  Remember that tobacco is absorbant, so it absorbs all the surrounding stress.  When you inhale the smoke in that circumstance you’re magnifying the stress in your body.  And 70-75% of illness is caused by stress!

I believe that one of the reasons we smoke when stressed is that it changes our breathing; we breath deeper to inhale the smoke and deep breathing reduces stress.  It would be better to just do breathing exercises for relaxation, which I will be addressing in future posts.

 A token of respect and exchange

Indigenous people teach that everything, every rock, every blade of grass, has a name and a song.  Their consciousness may not function as ours does, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have any.

Sometimes we go for a walk in the woods and see a pretty rock we want to take home.  But do we ever think that perhaps that rock has relatives in that area and may not want to leave?

Some may think that’s an odd concept, but those who know that everything is alive and we are all related will understand.

If you take something from the earth [rock, plant, feather, etc.] leave tobacco as an offering.  It’s a token of respect, and an exchange.  Ask permission first and pray for abundance and protection for that element/kingdom.

There are many, many stories of people who have taken sacred artifacts from indigenous peoples and lands without permission and been followed by bad luck until they were returned.  Respect – it’s the key to a good life.

 How to pick herbs

One of the first ways to communicate and show respect to Mother Earth is through is the proper use of herbs: in how we pick them and how we use them.

Tobacco is used when going out to pick other herbs.  If you’re going out to pick sage or cedar, or even something from your garden, try to choose an area where it’s plentiful.  Designate one plant as the grandmother plant and offer tobacco to her and ask permission to gather, and include prayers for the continued protection and abundance of the green kingdom.   Then do your picking. When gathering wild herbs, pick just a little from each plant so that you don’t decimate an area.

Southwest and Mexican tribes often used cornmeal for offerings.  If you have no tobacco or cornmeal, you can even use a strand of your hair, or saliva, as an exchange. The Huichol Indians of Mexico use chocolate.  A very fine offering, indeed.

Always be ready to pray

I always carry tobacco with me, and I keep some in my car.  That way I’m always ready to pray.  Not that regular prayer doesn’t work, but the more you do to help yourself focus, and call upon the good spirits for help, the more assistance you have.

Sun Bear also taught that the earth is covered with nature spirits and they don’t get much business any more.  So when you make tobacco offerings, they are eager to assist and acknowledge you in return.

As you communicate with the earth in this age-old indigenous tradition, you will find your life changing in beautiful ways.

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While the writing may seem stilted by today's standards, the sentiments expressed are profound. And our lives will be better if we embrace them.

]]> The desiderata is a much loved poem written by American writer Max Ehrmann in 1927.  Largly unknown during Ehrmann’s lifetime, It became well-known after being found at Adlai Stevenson’s deathbed in 1965.

In response to losing the majority in the Canadian Federal election in 1972, Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau quoted the Desiderata in reassuring the nation that “the universe is unfolding as it should.”

While the writing may seem stilted by today’s standards, the sentiments expressed are profound.  And our lives will be better if we embrace them.

• Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
• Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
• Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
• Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
• Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
• Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
• Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
• Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
• And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.
• Strive to be happy.

Meaning, “it gives me practical help in my life.” This post is about how celebrating the Spring Equinox can do just that.

This year the spring equinox in the Northern Hemisphere is March 20, 1:14 a.m. Eastern Time: a day of equal balance of the hours of light and dark before the sun continues its journey towards longer daylight hours and warming temperatures. The word equinox comes from the latin words meaning “equal night.”

The equinox energy is strong for four days before and after March 20th, giving you time to bask in the opportunities and lessons it brings.

Ancient cultures throughout history have celebrated this time of rebirth of Mother Earth. But what does it mean for us?

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“I’m not interested in any philosophy unless it can help me grow corn.”  Sun Bear

Meaning, “it gives me practical help in my life.”  This post is about how celebrating the Spring Equinox can do just that.

This year the spring equinox in the Northern Hemisphere is March 20, 1:14 a.m. Eastern Time: a day of equal balance of the hours of light and dark before the sun continues its journey towards longer daylight hours and warming temperatures.  The word equinox comes from the latin words meaning “equal night.”

The equinox energy is strong for four days before and after March 20^th, giving us time to bask in the opportunities and lessons it brings.

WE ARE ONE WITH THE EARTH

 Ancient cultures throughout history have celebrated this time of rebirth of Mother Earth. But what does it mean for us?

 The earth is comprised of 70% water and, on average, so is the human body.  That alone is a giant clue as to how interconnected we are.  What happens to the earth’s energy also happens within us, therefore we can experience more harmony if we work with the earth’s cycles instead of ignoring them.  It’s not just another day.

Here are some of the aspects of the Spring Equinox and how we can incorporate them into our own lives to help us better communicate with the spiritual forces of the earth.

BALANCE

 The equal hours of day and night represent balance:  a balanced life is a healthy life.  Do you eat enough healthy food? Drink enough water? Get enough sleep?  Exercise? Play?

Remember that “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” and that applies to us Jills too.  We won’t get adrenal exhaustion if we have enough play in our lives.

RENEWAL

 The earth starting to green up represents renewal: clear out the old to make space for the new.

Let your Spring cleaning be more than just vacuuming and dusting.  I have had a longing the past few days to clear out closets and drawers to pass on those things I no longer use or wear regularly.  A good rule of thumb is: if you haven’t used it in the past year, let it go.  Let your local shelter or non-profit thrift store benefit.

Holding on to your old “material stuff” is also a representation of holding on to your old “emotional stuff.”  Be courageous and start the process of release and renewal.

If you have sage, smudge your entire house.

And don’t just clean your house.  Clean the earth around you. Why not go for a walk this week and pick up trash along the side of the road?  The earth spirits will thank and bless you.

There’s no dishonor in cleaning up after the morally incapacitated.  We are all earthkeepers.  My father, who was no tree hugger by any means, once picked up an empty bag of McDonald’s nutrients that he saw tossed from a car in a parking lot.  He then took a shortcut to meet the car on the other side of the parking lot, stopped it and said, “excuse me, I think you dropped this.”  Way to go, Dad.

RESURRECTION

What was dead [the earth by all appearances in this part of the country] comes back to life.

Start the process of renewing your heart and mind by cleaning out the garden and planting something new. This is also the time to clear out the old growth and dead leaves in your garden and ceremonial areas. Bless your gardens with cornmeal or tobacco or a simple prayer.  If you have no outdoor gardens, bless your houseplants.  Let them represent inviting the green to return and bring goodness and abundance into your life.

GRATITUDE

Give thanks for all the joys, gifts and lessons of the winter.  Give thanks for all the good things springing up around us.  This is not the time to ask for what you need or want.  Give thanks for what you have and trust the Universe to continue to bring you more of what will serve your highest good.

Make a special meal and put some on an offering plate to be put outside for the nature spirits.  This is an age-old gratitude prayer practiced by indigenous people all over the world to give thanks for the food that we eat, another gift from Mother Earth.

CELEBRATE

Celebrate the return of light and green and goodness.  And dance as if no one is watching while you’re at it.

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Other than the marriage proposals, the best part is that it’s not a yeast bread, so it’s very easy to make. It’s the interaction of the baking soda and buttermilk that makes it rise.

]]> This recipe for Irish Soda Bread comes from my Nana Sue, born in Larah, County Caven.  A warm woman with a sharp wit, she raised six children and loved to cook.  This recipe has been handed down to each generation.

Best served fresh from the oven, I swear men have asked me to marry them after tasting it.

Other than the marriage proposals, the best part is that it’s not a yeast bread, so it’s very easy to make.  It’s the interaction of the baking soda and buttermilk that makes it rise.

 Ingredients:

•  4 c sifted flour.
• 3 tsp. double action baking powder
• 1 tsp. salt
• ½ tsp. baking soda

Sift the above over

• 1 c. seedless raisins and
• 1 T caraway seeds.

Stir well and add 2 C buttermilk to make a soft dough.

Turn the dough onto a lightly floured board and knead gently for a minute; or until it is smooth and not sticky.

Form it into a round loaf and use a knife to draw a cross across the top  [this lets the fairies out].

Brush milk or buttermilk over the top – this will give the crust a golden hue.

Place on a very lightly buttered baking sheet and bake at 375 degrees for 40-45 minutes or until the loaves are a delicate brown.

To test for done:  insert a knife – it’s done if it comes out clean.  Also, flip it upside down and knock on the bottom.  It’s done if it sounds hollow.  It also means the fairies are gone.

Cool slightly before cutting.  Serve with copious amounts of butter and enjoy.

INGREDIENTS:

3 lb. corned beef brisket [if it comes with a spice packet I use that plus the spices below, so it's double spiced]

3 bay leaves

4 sprigs thyme

12 peppercorns

3 potatoes, peeled and cut into 1/2” chunks

8 baby carrots, peeled

]]> This is standard fare at my house in March, and not just on St. Patrick’s Day.  It’s divine!

Serve 6 -8

 Ingredients:

• 3 lb. corned beef brisket [if it comes with a spice packet I use that plus the spices below, so it's double spiced]
• 3 bay leaves
• 4 sprigs thyme
• 12 peppercorns
• 3 potatoes, peeled and cut into 1/2” chunks
• 8 baby carrots, peeled
• 1 onion, cut into 8 wedges
• 1 leek, sliced [white and tenderest green part only]
• 1 small cabbage, cut into 8 wedges [remove the outer leaves first]
• 2 tsp. kosher salt
• 1 six-pack Bass Ale or beer of choice [very important – beer is the secret ingredient].

Horseradish cream:

• 1 c. sour cream
• up to 1 Tbsp prepared horseradish to taste
• salt and pepper
• Parsley, chopped for garnish

In a large pot, combine meat, spices [tied together in a cheesecloth bag] and enough beer to cover.  Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer 2 hours.  Add vegetables and salt and simmer another ½ hour.

When vegetables and meat are tender, remove corned beef to a carving board and slice against the grain. Place on a platter and arrange vegetables around the meat slices. Combine the sour cream, horseradish, salt and pepper in a small bowl and serve on the side.  A bowl of mustard is also good on the side.

History is written by conquerors, and, frankly, I don’t think their accounts are to be trusted.

Being 100% Irish-American, I’ve never felt good about the bad rap the Irish have gotten over the years. Most of the stereotypes are inaccurate and undoubtedly started by the English as a way to assuage their guilt for having decimated the country.

For example: Ireland used to be covered with forests, but the English cut down all the trees to use in their own empire building. During the Great Famine, there was more than enough food in Ireland to feed the entire country, but, again, the English exported it to feed themselves. "We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English."
- Winston Churchill

But enough about the English, I’m here to celebrate the Irish.

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“May the road rise to meet you; May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face; The rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand.” — Irish Blessing

History is written by conquerors, and, frankly, I don’t think their accounts are to be trusted.

Being 100% Irish-American, I’ve never felt good about the bad rap the Irish have gotten over the years.  Most of the stereotypes are inaccurate and undoubtedly started by the English as a way to assuage their guilt for having decimated the country.

For example:  Ireland used to be covered with forests, but the English cut down all the trees to use in their own empire building.  During the Great Famine, there was more than enough food in Ireland to feed the entire country, but, again, the English exported it to feed themselves.

But enough about the English, I’m here to celebrate the Irish.

Native Americans have a saying that human beings are born with two natural medicines: one is their laughter and the other their tears.  The Irish are quick to cry when moved and no people have a better sense of humor.  Their hearts are completely open. But they are lesser known for their contributions to the world.  Let’s set the record straight.

Saving the manuscripts of antiquity

In 1995, Thomas Cahill wrote a marvelous book on Ireland’s enormous contribution to Western culture: How the Irish Saved Civilization (Hinges of History).

In a nutshell, the Roman Empire never bothered to conquer Ireland.  Her inhabitants were deemed too wild and the country too poor to be worth the trip across the channel.  Rome’s mistake and our blessing.

When the Roman Empire finally collapsed around the Fifth Century, the “Dark Ages” ensued and all of Europe fell into chaos.  Learning, scholarship and culture disappeared.  The libraries were burned, but some of the ancient manuscripts made their way to Ireland.

Around the same time, St. Patrick converted much of Ireland to Christianity and founded monasteries.  The monks created the magnificent artistry of the Book of Kells and took it upon themselves to copy the Greek and Latin manuscripts that would otherwise have been lost. By the time Europe regained its senses, the Irish monasteries had preserved the great writings so that civilization could pick up where it had left off.

 Here are some more little-known contributions of the Irish:

•  Flavored potato chips [Joseph Murphy in 1954]
• Soda water [Robert Perceival 1800]
• The first successful submarine  [John Philip Holland 1881]
• The modern tractor [Harry Ferguson]
• The tank [Walter Gordon Wilson – 1911]
• First guided missile [Louis Brennan]
• Radiation treatment for cancer [co-pioneered by Irishman John Joly]
• First to artificially split the atom [Earnest Walton]
• Binaural [double earpiece] stethescope [Athur Leared 1851]
• Seismology  [Robert Mallet]
• Steam turbine [Sir Charles Parsons]
• The ejector seat [Sir James Martin]
• Hypodermic syringe [Francis Rynd in 1844]
• Nickel-zinc rechargeable battery [Dr. James Drumm in 1930]
• Cure for leprosy [Vincent Barry]
• U2
• Color photography [John Joly – 1894]
• Modern Chemistry [Robert Boyle 1661]
• Guinness Beer [Arthur Guinness]
• Irish whiskey
• Irish dancing [who would have thought that the Irish step dancing of Riverdance would become the most successful dance show in history, with over 20 million tickets sold worldwide].

 Irish Phrases that have made their way into our culture:

Kaybash:  to end something by putting the kaybash on it. The origin may refer to the black cap worn by a judge when passing a death sentence.

Tying the knot:  this term for getting married comes from the Celtic tradition of handfasting where the bride and groom’s hands were tied together as a symbol of their commitment. Ancient Celtic marriages were one-year commitments with optional renewal.  Smart!

Paddy wagon:  horse-drawn wagon used by police to cart drunks off to jail.  “paddy” was a derogatory term for Irish who came to America.

Taking the cake:  someone would always bring a cake to a local dance; a winner would be declared as having won the cake and would then share it with everyone else.

Luck of the Irish: this started out as an insult, referring to the bad luck the Irish seemed to have following the potato famine.  Over time it changed to represent the good luck of a charmed, happy group of people.

Shenanigans:  mischief

 An Irish prayer:

For example, the evidence is that Jesus Christ was born in the spring, but our pre-Christian ancestors were already celebrating the birth of a wondrous male child, born of a virgin, around the time of the Winter Solstice, so it made sense to decree this as the time of birth of Christ. It made for easy conversion.

Christianity also incorporated most of the significant aspects of Mithra, son of the Persian sun God, who died at the spring equinox, heralding the time of Easter.

So many Christian holidays parallel those of our ancestors that it can be hard to tell where one begins and the other ends. The same can be said of the saints.

]]> [This is the first of four posts leading up to St. Patrick’s Day in celebration of all things Irish].

Brigid's Cross, protection for the home

One of the ways Christianity wove its way into the hearts and minds of the original peoples was by adopting their ancient gods, goddesses and festivals in order to more easily convert them without bloodshed.

For example, the evidence is that Jesus Christ was born in the spring, but our pre-Christian ancestors were already celebrating the birth of a wondrous male child, born of a virgin, around the time of the Winter Solstice, so it made sense to decree this as the time of birth of Christ.  It made for easy conversion.

Christianity also incorporated most of the significant aspects of Mithra, son of the Persian sun God, who died at the spring equinox, heralding the time of Easter.

So many Christian holidays parallel those of our ancestors that it can be hard to tell where one begins and the other ends.  The same can be said of the saints.

 Goddess and Saint Brigid

One of the most famous Celtic Goddesses is Bridget, Brigid or Brid (pron. Breed).  There are many more versions of her name; I am partial to Brid. She is so steeped in legend that it is hard to tell the Goddess apart from the Christian Saint Bridget.

Brid is the nearest thing we have to a Great Mother of the Celts. She is deeply associated with the island of Ireland; many rivers and many women bear her name.  She is reputed to have lived in the Fifth Century and these are the qualities she was renowned for:

•  Wisdom
• poetry
• Protection of the hearth, home and animals
• Healing
• Smithcraft
• Hospitality

She is the epitome of the gifts that women offer.

The best illustration of her status in the history of Ireland is the folk tradition which tells how Brid spread out her green mantle over all her beloved country of Ireland and turned it into the Emerald Isle.

With the coming of Christianity, this powerful Goddess Brid became St. Brigid, second only to St. Patrick in the Irish hierarchy of saints. And the saint inherited much of the folklore of the goddess.

 The Story of the Full Pot

The daughter of Druids, Brid fed the poor, animals and birds with an open heart.  One day she was preparing food for her father’s guests and a starving dog limped into the kitchen, drawn by the smell of bacon.  Brid gave the dog a piece of bacon, then another, and another, until she realized with horror that the pot was empty.

When her father came into the kitchen to see if dinner was ready, Brid replied, “Go look in the pot,” while she prayed very, very hard.

He did, and found the pot full.

Such is the support a kind heart gets from the angels.

 Brigid’s Fire

A perpetual flame known as “Brigid’s Fire” burned in Kildare, Ireland in pre-Christian times to invoke the Goddess Brigid to protect the herds and provide a fruitful harvest.

St. Brigid founded a church and abbey in the Fifth Century that continued the tradition of burning the perpetual Flame of Kildare.  The Brigidine Sisters kept the flame burning until the 16^th Century, when the church decided the ritual was too pagan and had the flame extinguished.  It was relit in 1993 by the Brigidine Sisters in dedication to peace and justice and still burns today.

Brid is still honored today as the Goddess who keeps alive hope and inspiration.  Her feast day is February 1, which is also the first day of spring in the Celtic calendar, signifying the return of the green and reawakening of the earth.

Consider Brid as a mentor and protector.  When I travel, I call upon Brid to protect my home and animals while I am gone.

When you light a fire or a candle, call upon Brid to keep the fire lit, keep it safe, and to bring light, inspiration and protection into your life.

]]> According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, an estimated 5.4 million children ages 4 to 17 in the U.S. have been diagnosed at some time with ADHD  [attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder ], and 66 percent of those with current ADHD take medication to control the condition.

Is ADHD perhaps over-diagnosed?  Might Ritalin be over-prescribed?  In my humble opinion, yes.  Is there something to be done about it?  Yes.

I am not a child psychologist or educator and I don’t have children of my own.  BUT I am an acute observer of human nature and work in the holistic health profession and am of the opinion that most prescription drugs are over-prescribed.

Why do we as a culture go along with this?  Because we are a society of people who want a quick fix.

The best explanation I have found as to why ADHD is over-diagnosed comes from Sir Ken Robinson’s brilliant February 2006 talk on Ted.com about an 8-year old child in school in the 1930s: Gillian Lynne.

Gillian was doing very poorly in school so the school board wrote her mother saying she must have a learning disorder because she couldn’t concentrate and kept fidgeting in class.  [Today they’d undoubtedly say she had ADHD but there was no such diagnosis back then].

Her mother took her to a specialist who spoke with them for a while then the doctor said,  “Gillian, I need to speak with your mother privately.  So please wait here, we won’t be long.”

Before leaving the room he turned on the radio and once out of the room, he told her mother to just watch Gillian through the glass. As soon as they left, Gillian got up and started dancing around the room.  The doctor turned to the mother and said, “Mrs. Lynne, Gillian isn’t sick.  She’s a dancer.  Take her to dance class.”

Her mother did and Gillian said it was just wonderful because it was filled with children like her: children who couldn’t sit still.  Children who had to move to think.

Gillian went on to go to the Royal Ballet School, and eventually started her own dance company.  She choreographed some of the most successful musical theatre productions in history, including Cats and Phantom of the Opera, and is a multi-millionaire.

Sir Ken said, “Somebody else might have put her on medication and told her to calm down.”

Sir Ken went on to explain that education systems world-wide were invented in the 19^th century to meet the needs of industrialism.  Mathematics and science were valued over the arts, as they still are today.  And many highly talented, brilliant, creative people think they’re not talented, because the thing they are good at in school isn’t valued.

How many other bright shining lights are being snuffed out by being medicated and not allowed to find their true gifts and expression.   We really, really need to find a solution to this national education tragedy.

In the meanwhile, please do all you can to encourage and mentor the children you know so that their talents can flourish.

I would love to have your comments.

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There may be no better way to improve health and energy, and reduce stress, than getting a good night’s sleep. But that seems to be more and more difficult to achieve in our 24/7 world. Prescription drugs and over the counter sleep aids are plentiful but may not be our healthiest choice.

Counting sheep has never worked for me, but here are 25 tips that will contribute to a good night’s sleep, without side effects:

One of my earliest childhood memories is of sitting in my second grade class at Our Lady Help of Christians School in Brooklyn, New York during a lesson on the human body.

During the class, my teacher said something that knocked my socks off! It was that human beings only use 10% of the capacity of their brains [that was wrong; it’s now understood that virtually every part of the brain is active most of the time].

But when I heard that statement, I made a decision right then and there to get to using 100% of my brain power in my life. That declaration led me on a circuitous exploration of personal growth, alternative lifestyles and spiritual paths, much to my parents’ chagrin.

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“Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news.  The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be!  How much you can love!  What you can accomplish!  And what your human potential is!”  Anne Frank

The author at the age of decision

One of my earliest childhood memories is of sitting in my second grade class at Our Lady Help of Christians School in Brooklyn, New York during a lesson on the human body.

During the class, my teacher said something that knocked my socks off!  It was that human beings only use 10% of the capacity of their brains  [that was wrong; it’s now understood that virtually every part of the brain is active most of the time].

But when I heard that statement, I made a decision right then and there to get to using 100% of my brain power in my life.  That declaration led me on a circuitous exploration of personal growth, alternative lifestyles and spiritual paths, much to my parents’ chagrin.

What is the brain??  Is it our heart?

According to the latest Merriam-Webster dictionary, the brain is the portion of the nervous system that integrates sensory information from inside and outside the body to control autonomic function [e.g., heartbeat and respiration], motor responses and learning.  [I apologize – even I was bored by that sentence].

BUT our understanding of the “brain” is constantly evolving and the latest research is exciting.  The Heart-Math Institute has determined that:

•            the heart sends far more information to the brain than the brain sends to the heart;

•            the signals the heart sends to the brain can influence perception, emotional processing and higher cognitive functions;

•            there is compelling evidence that the heart receives intuitive information before the brain.

So, in a way, it could be said the heart is our true brain!!!

 Can we change our brains?

When I was a school-girl, we were taught that different sections of the brain had different functions and there could not be any cross-over.

But the new field of neuroplasticity has determined that the brain is modifiable.  If one part of the brain is damaged, another part can be trained to take over its functions; if brain cells die, they can sometimes be replaced.

An excellent book on this subject is “The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science” by Norman Doidge, M.D.  In this book, Doidge shares fascinating case histories of stroke patients cured, emotional disorders overcome and IQ raised.

 What does this mean for us?

It means that our thoughts can change the structure and functions of our brains!  It also means that we can overcome physical and mental limitations previously thought impossible.  We can unleash tremendous potential is only we give ourselves permission.  This is one of my favorite topics, and you’ll be reading more about it in future posts.

So my childhood question now changes from how to use 100% of our brains [we were always doing that] to how to get to 100% of our potential.

 What is human potential?

Here are some of the things I’ve concluded are the earmarks of living to our fullest potential:

• Developing intuition
• Using empowering language
• Using visualization and mental rehearsal to improve performance and achieve a goal
• Positive mental attitude
• Using all our talents without fear
• Meditation
• Practicing self-healing [taking care of ourselves through healthy lifestyles]
• Taking charge of our health
• Cultivating qualities of compassion, forgiveness, integrity, kindness and more
• Being lights in the world.

These will all be topics of future posts.

I’m still working on all of the above, but am certainly closer than I’ve ever been to living at 100% of my potential.

So that’s my definition.  What’s yours?

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Here are some Native American teachings about leadership:

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The Peacemaker

It’s President’s Day, and this is an election year, so my thoughts have gone to considering what makes a good leader.  And I wonder if we really know in this country what a good leader is.  Or, more importantly, do our own leaders know.

 Here are some Native American teachings about leadership:

A leader:

•  is the poorest man in the tribe because when the old and orphaned are without, the chief gives from his own stores to take care of them;
•  has compassion and looks out for the well-being of others;
•  takes responsibility and admits mistakes;
•  listens to the counsel of women in order to have a balanced viewpoint;
• prizes peace above all else.

A spiritual leader can communicate with the animal nations and weather for the protection of the people.

In most indigenous societies there are no wealthy classes or poor classes, no homeless.  Everyone had what they needed, was equal and was free.

I’ve written previously about how the first Europeans who came to the New World sent news back to Europe in the 16^th-18^th centuries that even the “savages” embraced equality!  That news became a catalyst for the demand for democracy in Europe to replace the ruling classes and the abject poverty of the peasants.

 Legend of the Peacemaker

The first recorded great Native American leader was “the Peacemaker.”

One thousand years ago, the five tribes in the northeastern U.S. were constantly at war:  the Mohawks, Seneca, Oneida, Onondaga and Cayugas. The wars were vicious and, according to tribal history, included cannibalism.

One day a man arrived in a white stone canoe from across Onondaga Lake to teach Peace and an end to violence, saying “Peace is the desire of the Holder of the Heavens.”

He traveled among the tribes for many years, teaching people to love one another and live together in peace.  One by one, each person and village accepted his teaching.

He gave instructions to form a government based on equality, freedom of speech and religion, dignity and harmony.  This became the Great Law of Peace, and the five tribes collectively became known as the Haudenosaunee, which means People of the Long House.

The United States Constitution is based on the Great Law of Peace.  But that will be the story of another post.

He was known as Deganaweda, but was considered such a great leader, and so sacred, that his name is rarely spoken.  He is known only as The Peacemaker.

Our greatest leaders  [Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Jr., Nelson Mandela, to name just a few]  were all motivated by bringing peace, equality, freedom and compassion to the people.  No other legacy is worthwhile.

I would recommend keeping these things in mind when voting and choosing our leaders.  Can they meet these criteria?

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High on mescaline, I saw a mountain breathe and immediately knew two things:]]> There is an old saying that, when the student is ready, the teacher appears.  It certainly was true for me.  I’m frequently asked how I got involved with the Native American spiritual path.  The short answer is: “I asked the universe.”

During college, I experimented with the usual recreational drugs and had an epiphany one day on a hillside in the Santa Monica Mountains.

High on mescaline, I saw a mountain breathe and immediately knew two things:

1. there is much more to this world than I had ever been taught before and;
2. I wanted to have that awesome high daily, not just on weekends.

The pragmatic side of me decided a daily high did not mean daily drugs, so I sought another way.  Meditation seemed the answer.

What I first found was a cult that proclaimed I should meditate an hour each morning and an hour each night.  Being an active outdoors type, I was a failure at meditation because I couldn’t bear to sit still that long.  It brought struggle and guilt, not peace of mind.  [Ironically, I now have a dedicated daily meditation practice, but that will be the subject of a future post].

I realized my greatest peace of mind was achieved out in nature: hiking, camping and back-packing.  So I put out a thought to the universe that if I could find a spiritual path that had to do with the outdoors and nature, that would be it for me.

Within two weeks, out of the blue, I was invited to a Native American purification lodge.  It was the perfect fit for me, and I never looked back.

What would you like to manifest in your life?  Put it out there and let me know the results.

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But in the past 24 hours some things came to my attention I couldn’t ignore. I watched Eve Ensler’s riveting talk on TED.com in which she spoke of the atrocities against women in warring third world countries. Then I saw George Clooney’s film, “Three Kings” which, under the guise of entertainment, made a powerful statement about atrocities against the people of Iraq by Saddam’s Royal Guard.

There’s so much more, but I don’t need to list it all; we all are aware of the inhumanity going on around the world. The question is: what's to be done about it?

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“An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”  Mahatma Gandhi

Mahatma Ghandi

Any life coach will tell you not to watch the news because it will just bring you down.  Salesmen know not to watch it in the morning; it gets your day off to a bad start.  So I don’t follow the news closely, although I do scan headlines to have a general idea of what’s going on in the world.

But in the past 24 hours some things came to my attention I couldn’t ignore.  I watched Eve Ensler’s riveting talk on TED.com in which she spoke of the atrocities against women in warring third world countries.  Then I saw George Clooney’s film, “Three Kings” which, under the guise of entertainment, made a powerful statement about atrocities against the people of Iraq by Saddam’s Royal Guard.

There’s so much more, but I don’t need to list it all; we all are aware of the inhumanity going on around the world.  The question is: what’s to be done about it?

 The awareness of such horror brings out the warrior in me.  I see myself intervening and killing the monsters who commit such horrid acts against the innocent.  But would I really?  These are things one can’t know until faced with the situation.

I do have a warrior side.  Years ago, when accosted by a man with a knife on the beach in California, I actually scared him off.

Long before that, when a roommate started screaming from a nightmare in the middle of the night, I ran toward her room, not away.

And I was a card carrying member of the Xena Warrior Princess fan club.

So it was easy to spend 30 seconds fantasizing about eliminating the perpetrators of the acts described by Ensler and Clooney.

But would I?  And, more importantly, would that stop it from happening elsewhere all over the world?

Hearing of these atrocities evokes in all of us a feeling of helplessness.  What can we possibly do from so far away?  Yes, we can write letters and send money, but there must be more.

I prayed about this, and went deep in meditation to seek an answer from my Wisdom Teachers and got one.  It was to love the people who commit the atrocities.  Raising the vibration on the planet is the most effective way to stop the insanity. And sending out love is the highest vibration there is.

 HOW TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE

Quantum physicists have proven what indigenous people have always known: everything on the earth is inter-related and connected by an invisible field of energy.  It is simply called, “The Field.”   What we think, do or say impacts not just those around us but goes out into the energy field surrounding our planet.

A concrete example can be found in the 1993 study in which 4,000 meditators from the Transcendental Meditation organization were brought to Washington, D.C. to meditate twice a day during the hot summer months, when the violent crime rate is normally highest. At the time, Washington, D.C. was the murder capitol of the U.S.

By the last week of the peer-reviewed study, violent crime was reduced 23%, with all other possible factors ruled out.  [An abstract of the study can be found at: http://www.pnyv.org/]  The theory is that group meditation increases coherence and reduces stress in the collective consciousness of the surrounding area.  This study has been successfully repeated in cities around the world.

The moral of this message?  Positive energy is more powerful than negative.  There is a collective consciousness, or vast energy field, that we are a part of, and contribute to, whether we know it or not.  Everything we do matters.

We may not be able to physically go to all the places in the world where there is suffering in order to bring relief, but we can raise our consciousness to effect world-wide change:

• Send love to all, even those we see as monsters.
• Let love and positive thoughts and actions go out into The Field.
• Pray.
• Meditate.
• Practice kindness.
• Live your life as if every action you take and thought you have matters.  Because they do.

Easy?  Perhaps not.  But I truly believe the future of planet earth depends on it.

And that, I think, is the best way to manifest love and celebrate St. Valentine’s Day.

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When my niece, Kate was ready to start kindergarten, she had to first go through an interview consisting of ten questions to assess her social skills. Nine of her answers were deemed “correct” but the one she was marked wrong for shocked me.

Question: “What do you do if you break something?”

Kate’s honest reply: “You tell the truth.”

Wrong answer!

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Thomas Edison, inventor of the light bulb

When my niece, Kate, was ready to start kindergarten, she had to first go through an interview consisting of ten questions to assess her social skills.  Nine of her answers were deemed “correct” but the reason she got one wrong  shocked me.

Question: “What do you do if you break something?”

Kate’s honest reply: “You tell the truth.”

Wrong answer!

The answer the school was looking for was, “you fix it.”

This doting aunt was quite appalled that Kate didn’t get credit for her excellent answer.  The U.S. might still be a British colony if George Washington had attended that kindergarten!

How our culture forces us to fail!

I used to be afraid to admit my mistakes.  In fact I was terrified of it.  I somehow felt I had to be perfect – what pressure!  A mistake was failure and failure was not an option in my world.

Perhaps it’s our success-driven culture.  We worship perfection, particularly in physical beauty.  Our society has a built-in criticism factor.  Advertisements and commercials are set up to compare us to others.  We need to buy or do something to be “better.”  The continuing message is that we have therefore failed.

Our educational system compounds the problem by being mistake-centered.  The grading system puts us above or below others.  That constant comparison is stressful and makes us fearful of making mistakes.

Fear of failure keeps us playing safe and never blossoming into our full potential.  Remember this truth: no one’s opinion counts except your own.

The turning point for me came in a surprising way.  Decades ago I was reading a book which gave the following exercise:

Make a list of the 10 people [living or dead] who you most admire and what it is you admire about them.  I don’t recall who I put on the list, but I distinctly recall what they all had in common: spectacular failures – and picked themselves up and kept right on going.

So I started getting a bit more courageous in my life, particularly after absorbing the teaching of Buckminster Fuller that,  “there are no mistakes, only learning experiences.”

Here are some statistics that may give you some comfort:

Thomas Edison failed 999 times before he came up with an electric bulb that worked.  He didn’t feel he failed 999 times; he simply found 999 ways of it not working.

Basketball legend Michael Jordan once said, “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career.  I’ve lost almost 300 games.  On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot … and missed.  I have failed over and over and over again in my life and that’s why … I succeed.”

Walt Disney was turned down 302 times before the banks lent him the money to build Disneyland!

Col. Sanders got hundreds of rejections before finding backing for “Col. Sanders’ Kentucky Fried Chicken.”

Dr. Seuss was rejected by 28 publishers and J.K. Rowling was rejected by 12 before getting their first books published.

A great definition of fear is:  FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real.  How often have we dreaded an outcome only to have everything turn out fine?  I bet you can cite many instances from your own life right now.

Think back, do an assessment.  Be grateful for all the learning experiences that have made you who you are today and go forth and learn a lot more.  For which I congratulate you in advance.

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